So, wedding dress shopping was really fun.
I know your wedding is a big day, but do I know anyone who really spent $2,000 on a wedding dress? We put Joy in some expensive dresses, for fun, they were really pretty, but seriously $2,000?!?!? Maybe I am just too practical - not sure that is true, but I am tooo something to spend that kind of cash for 1 day. Maybe if I had it to spend that would make a difference, but I'm not sure that it would.
We had a great day. We hit 2 shops and had Joy try on probably 25+ dresses. It was a successful day, because a decision was in fact made. There were many laughs, in fact there were a few leg crossing laughs. (Those of you who haven't had a baby yet may not understand, but many of you know exactly what I am talking about. Sarah says she doesn't, but is serious about her kegels - don't know if that is common knowledge, but I guess it is now. Love you Sarah!!) You know those days when you just laugh a lot, but either can't remember why or shouldn't retell the story, that is the kind of day it was. What fun.
Thanks Joy, for including me in this day. I am proud to be your big sister and am so proud that you are excited about your wedding, but more excited about your marriage. You haven't lost your perspective about what this day represents and why it is important to celebrate a wedding, but even more important to launch a marriage well. I look forward to being a part of this blessed event and am so glad for all the circumstances that led you to this place at this time. How exciting to look ahead and imagine what God has to hold for you and your Honey.
I'm just going to end this by saying "Pip-squeak" and see if Mom will tell the rest of the story.
Love you, my favorite girls and shopping companions.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Wedding Dress Shopping - weird
On the cusp (don't you love when you can show off a college education) of wedding dress shopping with my little sister, I am feeling a little weird.
Weird because she was supposed to stay little. She was the surprise ending of my siblings, and what a blessing. I remember when Mom and Dad told us that they were having another baby, after having 4 you just assume your parents are done. It was funny, because Dad said that there was a special surprise coming to our family after Christmas and that it came in a sack. GROSS!! Just tell us that Mom is having a baby, don't go into detail Dad. I was 9 when that announcement was made and 10 when Joy Kathleen arrived. Once she was born I remember talking to mom about what we would do without her and how we felt like our family was complete before she came, but it wasn't. For those of you that don't believe I can remember these conversations, I can. Mom and I talked in the big grey van after going to Pizza Hut in Mt. Pleasant, which was rare for us. We had taken back all the pop cans that day and were able to go out to dinner on the proceeds, now that is a lot of pop cans. It was Saturday night and the boys were bouncing around in the back, Sarah was sleeping, and Dad had gone into the gas station to pay, I was sitting next to Joy and talking to Mom in the front seat. Crazy the things you remember.
So tomorrow, I get to go with this little girl, who is now all grown up and mushy in love with a great guy, Grant. (oooh, fancy words and alliteration, I must be tired to pull all this off) WEIRD!! What fun it will be to go wedding dress shopping. Mom, Sarah, and I will be a great audience, and Joy will beam with delight. The laughter will make people look and the conversations should be recorded. We will tell stories, talk about random weird things that only we get, because of the context that only we know. You know what I mean, sister stuff.
We will miss Dad, not that he would have come, but because we always miss Dad.
So, who will cry first? Who will pick out the ugliest dress? Who will get honked off by the rude clerk and talk not to them, but loudly enough for them to hear? I may never tell, unless it is just the funniest story that must be told. I can tell you this that this will be a blessed day, and one that will have at least one lingering trip to Starbucks, cause that's how we roll. (There's that college education again.)
I love Joy and am honored to be a part of the process in welcoming Grant into our family and celebrating a marriage that will give our final Kelly girl a "B" last name. How weird is that? Thanks for letting me come Joy. With all the opinions, ideas, bossiness, and the rest of the things you hate to love about me.
See you at noon!!
Weird because she was supposed to stay little. She was the surprise ending of my siblings, and what a blessing. I remember when Mom and Dad told us that they were having another baby, after having 4 you just assume your parents are done. It was funny, because Dad said that there was a special surprise coming to our family after Christmas and that it came in a sack. GROSS!! Just tell us that Mom is having a baby, don't go into detail Dad. I was 9 when that announcement was made and 10 when Joy Kathleen arrived. Once she was born I remember talking to mom about what we would do without her and how we felt like our family was complete before she came, but it wasn't. For those of you that don't believe I can remember these conversations, I can. Mom and I talked in the big grey van after going to Pizza Hut in Mt. Pleasant, which was rare for us. We had taken back all the pop cans that day and were able to go out to dinner on the proceeds, now that is a lot of pop cans. It was Saturday night and the boys were bouncing around in the back, Sarah was sleeping, and Dad had gone into the gas station to pay, I was sitting next to Joy and talking to Mom in the front seat. Crazy the things you remember.
So tomorrow, I get to go with this little girl, who is now all grown up and mushy in love with a great guy, Grant. (oooh, fancy words and alliteration, I must be tired to pull all this off) WEIRD!! What fun it will be to go wedding dress shopping. Mom, Sarah, and I will be a great audience, and Joy will beam with delight. The laughter will make people look and the conversations should be recorded. We will tell stories, talk about random weird things that only we get, because of the context that only we know. You know what I mean, sister stuff.
We will miss Dad, not that he would have come, but because we always miss Dad.
So, who will cry first? Who will pick out the ugliest dress? Who will get honked off by the rude clerk and talk not to them, but loudly enough for them to hear? I may never tell, unless it is just the funniest story that must be told. I can tell you this that this will be a blessed day, and one that will have at least one lingering trip to Starbucks, cause that's how we roll. (There's that college education again.)
I love Joy and am honored to be a part of the process in welcoming Grant into our family and celebrating a marriage that will give our final Kelly girl a "B" last name. How weird is that? Thanks for letting me come Joy. With all the opinions, ideas, bossiness, and the rest of the things you hate to love about me.
See you at noon!!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Camp
Here I sit at camp, on a computer. I know, I know . . .
I love East Iowa Bible Camp. There are a few places in the world, where as you drive closer you feel like a kid again, getting so excited to be there and comfortable with where you are heading as you pull in the drive way it is like coming home. Camp is one of those for me, well maybe it is the one, other than where I grew up. I love being here and I love that my family loves being here. I remember when I brought Curtis up here the first time, he didn't know what to expect, and asked if this was going to have to be our vacation every year. I don't think I said yes, but I was hopeful that he would fall in love with camp and all that it represents and he did.
My dad loved camp and wanted our family to value what it meant to him. He had two main things that he worked to keep the main things, God and family. If you can keep those two things in focus, everything else will work itself out. Camp is a break from the reality of the everyday, it is a shelter from the storm. It is a place to go and recharge your battery and reconnect with all that is important in life, God and family. Thanks Dad, I hope that your two main things are mine as well.
At camp you will hear great stories of where and how God is at work in lives and communities. You get a bigger picture of the world, and the important message of it's not about YOU, it's about how HE can use you. You see all the ways that God uses people here, both in big and small ways. Do you have any idea how many people have come through this camp and chosen to do God's work? Neither do I (I bet you were expecting some stats), but I will tell you that most of my camp friends have chosen to allow God to work through their lives, some have chosen missions and are working in foreign countries, others are working in churches all over this country, and many others are actively involved in their local church and its ministries. What an honor to have learned the message of EIBC as a child, "To know Christ and to make Him known" and let that become the song in your heart and message of your life. Thank you East Iowa, for bringing me in contact with exciting and inspiring missionaries and for challenging me with interesting and applicable Bible teaching. I leave camp with a desire to be used by the God I say I serve in a better, more complete way, so that it isn't just what I say, it is who I am.
I love coming to camp with my family, I have been coming since I was very young. It has been "vacation" for most of my life. As a child, we looked forward to this week all year. We had friends that were our camp friends and of course a crush or two along the way, but it was just a great time to get away together. It was so fun to play together (I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters) with differnt stuff in different ways. We loved the pool, the pond, Bible drills in chapel, and competing with and against each other in the great relay races. As we got older we began to hang out with other kids and then the fun of mutual secrets began. It was the one time a year when it felt like the weight of the world was off my dad, I see that now much more than I did then. He would truly relax at camp. The Mike laugh would ring out through Kid Run Valley, his stories were better around the camp fire, and he loved the people he met and only saw here. He loved the friends from home that still come here each year and the relationship that is built through camp. They are the thick and thin friends. There were great times of sitting, just talking together, and I always loved watching him with my mom. One of the hardest things after his death was returning to camp, less than a month later. We knew that some of our camp friends wouldn't know and would be looking for him, not having him here was hard then, and I still feel his absence now. Oh the fun he would have with the grandchildren that are here this week, there are eight here.
Now, I am the mom and I love having my kids at camp. They are getting some of the same experiences that I cherish so much and building those lasting friendships. There is just something about someone who knew you when you were so young and cute and stuck with you even when you weren't and now they are watching my children be young and cute. (Surely my kids won't go through that un-cute phase.) I am relaxed here, I trust the people and the camp. I allow my children a freedom that they don't often have anywhere else. Camp to me is a safe place and my children love it here. Michael has been asking when we are coming for months now, and will be sad to leave on Saturday morning.
There is just enough structure that it is not a free for all and enough freedom that you can take your time and do all the fun things. There are enough simple activities that you will crave fun for fun's sake when you get home and realize how much we over schedule and over plan and over stuff our lives. You know what? Camp doesn't need jet ski's and ropes courses, just creativity and a willingness to continually find the fun in life and pursue the simple and best things in life. God and family.
Wow, all this to say, I love camp and am so glad to be back again this year and pray that I will be able to return again next summer. Long live East Iowa Bible Camp!!
I love East Iowa Bible Camp. There are a few places in the world, where as you drive closer you feel like a kid again, getting so excited to be there and comfortable with where you are heading as you pull in the drive way it is like coming home. Camp is one of those for me, well maybe it is the one, other than where I grew up. I love being here and I love that my family loves being here. I remember when I brought Curtis up here the first time, he didn't know what to expect, and asked if this was going to have to be our vacation every year. I don't think I said yes, but I was hopeful that he would fall in love with camp and all that it represents and he did.
My dad loved camp and wanted our family to value what it meant to him. He had two main things that he worked to keep the main things, God and family. If you can keep those two things in focus, everything else will work itself out. Camp is a break from the reality of the everyday, it is a shelter from the storm. It is a place to go and recharge your battery and reconnect with all that is important in life, God and family. Thanks Dad, I hope that your two main things are mine as well.
At camp you will hear great stories of where and how God is at work in lives and communities. You get a bigger picture of the world, and the important message of it's not about YOU, it's about how HE can use you. You see all the ways that God uses people here, both in big and small ways. Do you have any idea how many people have come through this camp and chosen to do God's work? Neither do I (I bet you were expecting some stats), but I will tell you that most of my camp friends have chosen to allow God to work through their lives, some have chosen missions and are working in foreign countries, others are working in churches all over this country, and many others are actively involved in their local church and its ministries. What an honor to have learned the message of EIBC as a child, "To know Christ and to make Him known" and let that become the song in your heart and message of your life. Thank you East Iowa, for bringing me in contact with exciting and inspiring missionaries and for challenging me with interesting and applicable Bible teaching. I leave camp with a desire to be used by the God I say I serve in a better, more complete way, so that it isn't just what I say, it is who I am.
I love coming to camp with my family, I have been coming since I was very young. It has been "vacation" for most of my life. As a child, we looked forward to this week all year. We had friends that were our camp friends and of course a crush or two along the way, but it was just a great time to get away together. It was so fun to play together (I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters) with differnt stuff in different ways. We loved the pool, the pond, Bible drills in chapel, and competing with and against each other in the great relay races. As we got older we began to hang out with other kids and then the fun of mutual secrets began. It was the one time a year when it felt like the weight of the world was off my dad, I see that now much more than I did then. He would truly relax at camp. The Mike laugh would ring out through Kid Run Valley, his stories were better around the camp fire, and he loved the people he met and only saw here. He loved the friends from home that still come here each year and the relationship that is built through camp. They are the thick and thin friends. There were great times of sitting, just talking together, and I always loved watching him with my mom. One of the hardest things after his death was returning to camp, less than a month later. We knew that some of our camp friends wouldn't know and would be looking for him, not having him here was hard then, and I still feel his absence now. Oh the fun he would have with the grandchildren that are here this week, there are eight here.
Now, I am the mom and I love having my kids at camp. They are getting some of the same experiences that I cherish so much and building those lasting friendships. There is just something about someone who knew you when you were so young and cute and stuck with you even when you weren't and now they are watching my children be young and cute. (Surely my kids won't go through that un-cute phase.) I am relaxed here, I trust the people and the camp. I allow my children a freedom that they don't often have anywhere else. Camp to me is a safe place and my children love it here. Michael has been asking when we are coming for months now, and will be sad to leave on Saturday morning.
There is just enough structure that it is not a free for all and enough freedom that you can take your time and do all the fun things. There are enough simple activities that you will crave fun for fun's sake when you get home and realize how much we over schedule and over plan and over stuff our lives. You know what? Camp doesn't need jet ski's and ropes courses, just creativity and a willingness to continually find the fun in life and pursue the simple and best things in life. God and family.
Wow, all this to say, I love camp and am so glad to be back again this year and pray that I will be able to return again next summer. Long live East Iowa Bible Camp!!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Adah's 1st Birthday and time
It's been awhile. Let's see . . . since I last wrote - my baby turned ONE, my baby sister got engaged, and we had the 6th anniversary of Dad's sudden death. Each of these things is one of those time things. It is just so weird how fast time goes and how it can seem like forever ago and yesterday at the same time. I thought that I would blog on each of these individually, but didn't get it done. It is my procrastination . . . best of intentions, crappy follow through. (Does anyone else love the word crap, crappy, crapola . . . ? Any of it's versions are good with me - sorry Mom, but it could be worse)
My sweet Adah turned one on June 14. I can't believe it. It happened too quickly, she went from baby to not a baby in a blink. As I watch her toddling everywhere, fearlessly climbing and exploring, I wonder who she will be. Will this daredevil spirit remain? Will I nurture that in her or quench it and make her fearful? (Lord, please don't let me be that kind of mother. - an honest prayer from me to God) Will the stubborn nature that enables her to stand her ground with her brother be something I stop laughing about soon? I pray that I will have the blessing of watching her grow and finding joy in each of her moments. I know all too well about the brevity of life, there are no guarantees, but I do have today. How can I cherish and give my best in the everyday moments? What will her fond memories be? It is so fun to watch her and her adoring big brother. They really do like each other, currently. Is there any better sound than hearing siblings play together, willingly and enjoy it. I am so blessed to be the mother of Adah. Thank you Adah, for brightening my day and helping me to realize how much fun girls can be. I am loving watching you grow into the person God wants you to be, I can't wait to see what this world holds for you, but don't want it to happen too quickly although no matter what it will probably be too quickly, and I pray that I can be a continual part of your journey through this life. What a first year we have had together.
It's late, I will have to catch this train of thought later to talk about Joy and Dad.
My sweet Adah turned one on June 14. I can't believe it. It happened too quickly, she went from baby to not a baby in a blink. As I watch her toddling everywhere, fearlessly climbing and exploring, I wonder who she will be. Will this daredevil spirit remain? Will I nurture that in her or quench it and make her fearful? (Lord, please don't let me be that kind of mother. - an honest prayer from me to God) Will the stubborn nature that enables her to stand her ground with her brother be something I stop laughing about soon? I pray that I will have the blessing of watching her grow and finding joy in each of her moments. I know all too well about the brevity of life, there are no guarantees, but I do have today. How can I cherish and give my best in the everyday moments? What will her fond memories be? It is so fun to watch her and her adoring big brother. They really do like each other, currently. Is there any better sound than hearing siblings play together, willingly and enjoy it. I am so blessed to be the mother of Adah. Thank you Adah, for brightening my day and helping me to realize how much fun girls can be. I am loving watching you grow into the person God wants you to be, I can't wait to see what this world holds for you, but don't want it to happen too quickly although no matter what it will probably be too quickly, and I pray that I can be a continual part of your journey through this life. What a first year we have had together.
It's late, I will have to catch this train of thought later to talk about Joy and Dad.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Devotion's, sin, and choices
Today God woke me up. I keep saying I want to have a quality quiet time, but don't have the time or energy to do it well so it consistently gets put off, and this week at our MOPS steering meeting one of the mentors said that if I was choosing to not do it when I had time to do other things like watching TV, being on the computer . . . then maybe it wasn't the business of life that was keeping me from a quiet time, it was a sin issue. WOW! Light bulb moment. A sin issue, but I am a mom, I am too busy for sin. RIGHT!! Today God gave me the chance again. I woke up just before 5:30 and instead of flipping on the TV to let the news lull me back to sleep, I got up. I chose to have a quiet time, which meant that today I did have the time and I chose something over myself - GOD, I chose focused time with GOD. What a radical concept, I know.
Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29
This was nearly the first thing I read and what I needed to hear. This verse is a verse I have read and heard, memorized and recited, but today it was all new.
Is everything I say good and helpful? Are my words encouraging? I think that I am good with words. I rarely am at a loss of what to say and even can be eloquent. I love finding the right word for the right moment. But EVERYTHING. Really. Even at home. I look at how I interact with my family and am convicted that maybe it is when I have my "public" face and my "church" hat on that I live this verse. Or give it a good attempt. If it is not who I am always, am I faking it? How many times do I just tell my family what I want and expect and never think about my words being good and helpful and being an encouragement.
Convicting to this mom, who can be short tempered and short sighted.
So devotion is doing what it needs to do in my life, convicting me, asking me to make better choices, and recognizing that there is One who does this in my life. God is using this verse to make me a better mom, today. Tomorrow I will start all over, but hope that I can continue to be aware of the power of words.
Wow, who knew that I could feel awake at 7:30 and be ready to start my day.
Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29
This was nearly the first thing I read and what I needed to hear. This verse is a verse I have read and heard, memorized and recited, but today it was all new.
Is everything I say good and helpful? Are my words encouraging? I think that I am good with words. I rarely am at a loss of what to say and even can be eloquent. I love finding the right word for the right moment. But EVERYTHING. Really. Even at home. I look at how I interact with my family and am convicted that maybe it is when I have my "public" face and my "church" hat on that I live this verse. Or give it a good attempt. If it is not who I am always, am I faking it? How many times do I just tell my family what I want and expect and never think about my words being good and helpful and being an encouragement.
Convicting to this mom, who can be short tempered and short sighted.
So devotion is doing what it needs to do in my life, convicting me, asking me to make better choices, and recognizing that there is One who does this in my life. God is using this verse to make me a better mom, today. Tomorrow I will start all over, but hope that I can continue to be aware of the power of words.
Wow, who knew that I could feel awake at 7:30 and be ready to start my day.
Friday, May 15, 2009
I remembered #3
I remembered #3 - What tickles you?
Those are great questions for life:
1) What makes you tick?
2) What tickles you?
3) What ticks you off?
Think about it for a while, you may be surprised what pops into your head.
I think that these were supposed to be in reference to organizing your home, but what a way to prioritize your life. Wow, if I could figure out and harness what makes me tick, spend time doing what tickles me, and avoid what ticks me off, what kind of person would I be?
Those are great questions for life:
1) What makes you tick?
2) What tickles you?
3) What ticks you off?
Think about it for a while, you may be surprised what pops into your head.
I think that these were supposed to be in reference to organizing your home, but what a way to prioritize your life. Wow, if I could figure out and harness what makes me tick, spend time doing what tickles me, and avoid what ticks me off, what kind of person would I be?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Okay - I just won a spider solitaire game so I am free to start blogging now. Something happens to me - whenever I turn on the computer I have to have a game going and I can't stop until I have won. It is what I do while I wait for the slow dial up to do whatever it has to do. It really is hard for me to end a game before it is over. What is wrong with me? Is there a support group for this?
Moving on.
I have been reading. I am at least one chapter into each of the books and love them all. Right now, I am stuck in the organizing book. It says that I should escape somewhere alone without distractions and develop a plan of attack. Well, I have been stalled here for a month. But I have been trying to answer 3 important questions we all should answer:
1) What makes you tick?
2) What ticks you off?
oh and now I can't remember #3, I would look it up but the book is up next to my bed and I don't know when I would return. But those 2 are a great start. I will figure it out later and let you know, if I remember. My 2 brain cells have not been playing well together lately. Maybe I need more sleep. (I say at 12:22 am)
Real Mom's . . . Real Jesus is great. I love it. The first chapter "The Truth about Serving" is all about taking the time to see what you do as a mom is serve and in order to serve well you need to let others serve you. Now this can get hard. The end of the chapter even gives some scenarios: "When your husband says, 'How can I help you' don't brush him away, but invite him to join you in whatever you are doing." I don't know about anyone else, but sometime I want to just do it, myself, because I should have it together enough to complete a task. But the reality is that I am not that together. Our MOPS steering team is going to be reading this book together this summer. So I am trying to not get too far into it. It is hard, because it is really good.
I have even started Chief Home Officer. It has become my bathtub book. A bathtub book is a book that stays in my bathroom, not for toilet reading - I know what you are thinking, I don't spend that much time on the toilet, who wants to linger there? It is in the bathroom for bath tub reading. I love baths, so I love to have an excuse to take one. Reading is a great excuse. It also helps the time go a little more quickly when I am giving a bath to my kiddos, who love to play in the bath. I always have a bathtub book, although when the Real Simple Magazine comes, I take a disappear to the tub with that. Okay, more than anyone needs to know about me. The Chief Home Officer is great, it is really dealing right now with that transition from work to home and how big of a thing that is. Some of you may not have felt this way, but I really did. My expectations were wrong as far as life at home and my needs didn't change. I still wanted to be busy and productive and I didn't realize how much all that people interaction fed me and what coming down off of it would do to me. Now I don't want to sound like I regret it, I never did. I just didn't realize what this adjustmetn would be. So this book is great and I can't wait to get into the real practical stuff of running a home and making it work for me. I hate days when I get to the end and wondered what exactly I did all day. Maybe a plan, I always had one while working, will help me.
Wow, a lot of nothing. Maybe I should take the time to blog individually about these books so I can really get my thoughts on each out. I know that there are a few people who will read this, but I am really blogging more for myself. It seems easier than journalling in some wierd way, but serves the same purpose.
Well, I should be folding laundry and maybe you should be too, but I am glad I did this. Hope all is well in your world. Love on those you love right NOW!!
Moving on.
I have been reading. I am at least one chapter into each of the books and love them all. Right now, I am stuck in the organizing book. It says that I should escape somewhere alone without distractions and develop a plan of attack. Well, I have been stalled here for a month. But I have been trying to answer 3 important questions we all should answer:
1) What makes you tick?
2) What ticks you off?
oh and now I can't remember #3, I would look it up but the book is up next to my bed and I don't know when I would return. But those 2 are a great start. I will figure it out later and let you know, if I remember. My 2 brain cells have not been playing well together lately. Maybe I need more sleep. (I say at 12:22 am)
Real Mom's . . . Real Jesus is great. I love it. The first chapter "The Truth about Serving" is all about taking the time to see what you do as a mom is serve and in order to serve well you need to let others serve you. Now this can get hard. The end of the chapter even gives some scenarios: "When your husband says, 'How can I help you' don't brush him away, but invite him to join you in whatever you are doing." I don't know about anyone else, but sometime I want to just do it, myself, because I should have it together enough to complete a task. But the reality is that I am not that together. Our MOPS steering team is going to be reading this book together this summer. So I am trying to not get too far into it. It is hard, because it is really good.
I have even started Chief Home Officer. It has become my bathtub book. A bathtub book is a book that stays in my bathroom, not for toilet reading - I know what you are thinking, I don't spend that much time on the toilet, who wants to linger there? It is in the bathroom for bath tub reading. I love baths, so I love to have an excuse to take one. Reading is a great excuse. It also helps the time go a little more quickly when I am giving a bath to my kiddos, who love to play in the bath. I always have a bathtub book, although when the Real Simple Magazine comes, I take a disappear to the tub with that. Okay, more than anyone needs to know about me. The Chief Home Officer is great, it is really dealing right now with that transition from work to home and how big of a thing that is. Some of you may not have felt this way, but I really did. My expectations were wrong as far as life at home and my needs didn't change. I still wanted to be busy and productive and I didn't realize how much all that people interaction fed me and what coming down off of it would do to me. Now I don't want to sound like I regret it, I never did. I just didn't realize what this adjustmetn would be. So this book is great and I can't wait to get into the real practical stuff of running a home and making it work for me. I hate days when I get to the end and wondered what exactly I did all day. Maybe a plan, I always had one while working, will help me.
Wow, a lot of nothing. Maybe I should take the time to blog individually about these books so I can really get my thoughts on each out. I know that there are a few people who will read this, but I am really blogging more for myself. It seems easier than journalling in some wierd way, but serves the same purpose.
Well, I should be folding laundry and maybe you should be too, but I am glad I did this. Hope all is well in your world. Love on those you love right NOW!!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Shiner #4
Good News today!! No craniotomy!!
I don't remember if I told you that was a possibility, a long shot, but it had been mentioned more than once. Scary stuff. I tried not to think about it, long shot, it would be a long shot Bek, don't worry about a long shot, focus on the sure things, he has a fracture - it should heal, no long shot to think of. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Such is life. Enough of my inner ramblings.
So, we went to the U and were told again how unusual this fracture is. :) Basically it is at the roof (at the back) of the eye socket and the floor of the brain. So a tricky place to get to. There is a piece of bone that is pointing into the eye socket, that is the concern. The other fracture is just a fracture, but this one is weird. The main concern is how it is and will affect his vision. Right now there is no problem with his vision, but his eye lid is a little lower. They don't know if that is due to the swelling or to the fractured piece of bone which is sticking into the muscle that controls the lid of the eye. If it is the fracture, we will just have to watch it to make sure that it doesn't begin to impede his vision as it heals and he grows. The other issue is that due to the proximity to the brain this fractured bone could have or may (in the right circumstance) puncture the membrane around the brain. This in itself is not huge, it will heal itself and as long as fluid is not leaking out it isn't a huge deal. The issue is infection, an infection could cause meningitis. YIKES. We were told all the warning signs of meningitis and told that if anything seemed even a little off we were to call the doctor immediately. They put Michael on an antibiotic to help prevent any infection. Again this is a long shot, but we are glad to know to be watchful and that he is on something to help prevent it.
We were both encouraged, thankful that we went to the U, and felt like our prayers had been answered. No surgery and no big risks as he grows. We know how blessed we are to have two healthy children. This fracture is small compared with what many endure. Knowing that losing or having challenges with vision is not easy or wanted, we didn't feel his life was at risk. Keeping Michael and doing our best to help him grow into the person that God wants him to be is the gift and blessing, his being able to see is an extra blessing.
I think too many times we loose sight of the big picture and we think that this is as bad as it can get and fall into despair and worry about lifestyle, but don't find the blessing in life. We, our family, know all too well how fleeting life is and try to keep our eye on that. Don't get me wrong, I prayed that everything would be okay and I stewed some about the outcome of all these appointments, but I really tried to keep my perspective. Sometimes it is hard, but I try not to buy a house in that neighborhood, I just get lost there and drive around a bit. Michael loosing his sight or needing surgery would be bad, but loosing Michael would be much worse. I really try to see the bigger picture and focus on God's plan for us all. I am not sure what the plan was here, but when I need to know I will.
Count your blessings, name them one by one, Count your blessings, see what God hath done! Count your blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
I don't remember if I told you that was a possibility, a long shot, but it had been mentioned more than once. Scary stuff. I tried not to think about it, long shot, it would be a long shot Bek, don't worry about a long shot, focus on the sure things, he has a fracture - it should heal, no long shot to think of. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Such is life. Enough of my inner ramblings.
So, we went to the U and were told again how unusual this fracture is. :) Basically it is at the roof (at the back) of the eye socket and the floor of the brain. So a tricky place to get to. There is a piece of bone that is pointing into the eye socket, that is the concern. The other fracture is just a fracture, but this one is weird. The main concern is how it is and will affect his vision. Right now there is no problem with his vision, but his eye lid is a little lower. They don't know if that is due to the swelling or to the fractured piece of bone which is sticking into the muscle that controls the lid of the eye. If it is the fracture, we will just have to watch it to make sure that it doesn't begin to impede his vision as it heals and he grows. The other issue is that due to the proximity to the brain this fractured bone could have or may (in the right circumstance) puncture the membrane around the brain. This in itself is not huge, it will heal itself and as long as fluid is not leaking out it isn't a huge deal. The issue is infection, an infection could cause meningitis. YIKES. We were told all the warning signs of meningitis and told that if anything seemed even a little off we were to call the doctor immediately. They put Michael on an antibiotic to help prevent any infection. Again this is a long shot, but we are glad to know to be watchful and that he is on something to help prevent it.
We were both encouraged, thankful that we went to the U, and felt like our prayers had been answered. No surgery and no big risks as he grows. We know how blessed we are to have two healthy children. This fracture is small compared with what many endure. Knowing that losing or having challenges with vision is not easy or wanted, we didn't feel his life was at risk. Keeping Michael and doing our best to help him grow into the person that God wants him to be is the gift and blessing, his being able to see is an extra blessing.
I think too many times we loose sight of the big picture and we think that this is as bad as it can get and fall into despair and worry about lifestyle, but don't find the blessing in life. We, our family, know all too well how fleeting life is and try to keep our eye on that. Don't get me wrong, I prayed that everything would be okay and I stewed some about the outcome of all these appointments, but I really tried to keep my perspective. Sometimes it is hard, but I try not to buy a house in that neighborhood, I just get lost there and drive around a bit. Michael loosing his sight or needing surgery would be bad, but loosing Michael would be much worse. I really try to see the bigger picture and focus on God's plan for us all. I am not sure what the plan was here, but when I need to know I will.
Count your blessings, name them one by one, Count your blessings, see what God hath done! Count your blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Shiner #3
Hello - me again, updating the latest in this full week.The short of it: We are going to Iowa City tomorrow to see a specialist.
The long version: Today Michael had his 4 year check up, scheduled long before everything else. Everything went well there. He is growing and all the things that are supposed to be positive or negative were. The doctor was a bit concerned about his eye, evidently this is a very unusual fracture - no one seems to have seen anything like this before. Lucky us. He thought that seeing a pediatric opthimologist at the U would be the best bet, but we already had an appointment here, so we went ahead and went with the plan we had made on Tuesday after the ENT, but promised to call after the appointment.
The opthimologist who told us that everything seemed okay and that it should heal fine, but we should come back in a month to re-check his eye. We then called the pediatrician to tell him the update, and he wanted to call the U and talk with the doctor up there to see what they thought. They decided that we should come up and make sure that all is well and go from there. We are praying that the 3rd opinion will be like the first 2, nothing that can really be done, the risks outweigh the rewards, and it should heal fine with no vision issues due to this fracture.
I have become that mother who bribes her children. Today we have had a donut, chocolate milk, and chocolate ice cream. Not a normal day for us, but it just seems like after all of this you need a treat. I need a treat - anyone have a 2 liter of Diet Pepsi, for this tired Mommy after she puts Mr. Black Eye down for the night. "I need a cold one on the rocks and keep it coming."
Is a 5:30 bedtime too early?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Shiner 2
I thought I should update after the blabbering I did yesterday, so here is the news. We went to the ENT doctor this morning. I was told to call them first thing, so I did at 8:15 and they wanted me there by 9. There was no way. We live 20 minutes away and were all still in pj's, no breakfast, and I was hoping to get a shower. We aren't one of those morning houses, I don't think that my body or mind realize that they are in fact awake until they have been going for an hour. They insisted that they needed us first thing, so I told them I could be there by 9:30. We rushed around to get everything done, I prayed that I smelled better than I felt, and we made it. Only to have to wait until after 11 to see the doctor. I would have had time for a bubble bath and a real breakfast - oh well, roll with it.
After examining Michael the doctor referred us to another doctor. He has a fracture in the back of the eye socket (between the brain and the eye ball) that is sticking out into the eye socket. Evidently this is really unusual so everyone in the area needs to see it. It isn't large and he didn't think that it would be advantagous (wow big word for this tired mom) to fix it, but he wanted to make sure that they eyeball doctor agreed. So tomorrow we will see an opthamologist to see if the fracture will endanger his eyeball. We are praying that this will be our last visit, but were told that it may be necessary for us to visit another specialist, a pediatric opthamologist. We will know more tomorrow.
Here is a funny tidbit that happened while we waited. We were wandering the hospital and some nurses were pushing a patient on a bed down the hallway, nothing too exciting. We stepped into a doorway so they would have plenty of room and when they were getting close Michael said, "Mom, what's with the dead guy." Now this was loud enough for the nurses to hear and thankfully it looked like the "dead guy" was out of it enough to not hear the comment. Both Curtis and I were shocked and trying to shut that sweet little mouth with things like (do you detect my sarcasm), oh he is just tired, or it looks like he has had a rough day, and he isn't dead. But there was no disuading (wow another 50 cent word) him and he kept talking. But he looks dead, I really think he is dead . . . my insides are screaming why can't we shut him up. The nurses hearing all of this start giggling and I heard them laughing and talking about it until I couldn't hear them any more. It is so hard not to laugh at these moments, but they are so embarrassing.
My mother would probably tell you that this is my just reward, but that can't possibly be true. Just another Michael moment to add to my list. I love that boy. What fun it is to be able to laugh with and at your children.
After examining Michael the doctor referred us to another doctor. He has a fracture in the back of the eye socket (between the brain and the eye ball) that is sticking out into the eye socket. Evidently this is really unusual so everyone in the area needs to see it. It isn't large and he didn't think that it would be advantagous (wow big word for this tired mom) to fix it, but he wanted to make sure that they eyeball doctor agreed. So tomorrow we will see an opthamologist to see if the fracture will endanger his eyeball. We are praying that this will be our last visit, but were told that it may be necessary for us to visit another specialist, a pediatric opthamologist. We will know more tomorrow.
Here is a funny tidbit that happened while we waited. We were wandering the hospital and some nurses were pushing a patient on a bed down the hallway, nothing too exciting. We stepped into a doorway so they would have plenty of room and when they were getting close Michael said, "Mom, what's with the dead guy." Now this was loud enough for the nurses to hear and thankfully it looked like the "dead guy" was out of it enough to not hear the comment. Both Curtis and I were shocked and trying to shut that sweet little mouth with things like (do you detect my sarcasm), oh he is just tired, or it looks like he has had a rough day, and he isn't dead. But there was no disuading (wow another 50 cent word) him and he kept talking. But he looks dead, I really think he is dead . . . my insides are screaming why can't we shut him up. The nurses hearing all of this start giggling and I heard them laughing and talking about it until I couldn't hear them any more. It is so hard not to laugh at these moments, but they are so embarrassing.
My mother would probably tell you that this is my just reward, but that can't possibly be true. Just another Michael moment to add to my list. I love that boy. What fun it is to be able to laugh with and at your children.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Shiner
Okay so here is the story:
We traveled to Wisconsin this weekend to visit Curtis's parents and check out the new house (great by the way). We stopped in Madison for dinner and everything was normal. Adah was almost done with dinner, so I said I would stay with her in Culver's (shocking that we would stop there, I know) while she finished and Curtis could go take Scout on a bit of a walk to do what dogs need to do - go to the bathroom. Of course Michael wanted to go with his dad, he is Curtis's shadow. :) No problem I will meet you at the van in a few minutes, we will be in Waupon before dark. That was the plan, funny how plans change.
I was waiting by the van when I got a call from Curtis, "Something terrible has happened", doesn't that strike fear into your heart. I could hear Michael crying and I thought that something had happened to Scout, but Curt told me that Michael was hurt and he didn't know what to do, he told me where they where and Adah and I started moving toward the wails. I thought that it was a normal fall, "Oh buddy, where does it hurt, can I kiss it, do you want me to sing you a song . . . " you know the normal mom stuff. But when I got there, there was no consoling him. Curtis was like, "What do we do?" I told him to take Scout and head to the van and come back to get me and the kiddos. Hoping all the while that Michael would be calm when he returned and I could figure out what had happened. Not the case, Michael just wouldn't calm down, I could see the road rash on his face, but he couldn't stop crying long enough to explain what had happened, so I just held him and waited for Curtis. It didn't take long for him to return, but it was clear that Michael wasn't quite right, his eyes looked glassy or something and he was pale so we decided to head to the emergency room. YIKES!!
In the van I finally got some answers to what had happened, Curtis was picking up the present Scout left on the walk and Michael got tangled in the leash, then Scout (playing with Michael) ran the other way straightening the leash with Michael in it, that flipped him out and head first onto the asphalt. Driving to the ER I was just trying to keep him awake, somewhere someone told me that you aren't supposed to let head injury people go to sleep, and I didn't, but it was a fight. He just continued to cry and then he would say things like "I just can't take it" breaking my heart. I could almost see his eye swelling shut. Adah was just stunned silent through the whole ride. When we arrived at the ER I took Michael in while Curtis parked, there was no one else in there, amazingly enough. I think it was a God thing, to save my sanity and Curtis's hurting heart. They took him right in and after doing his vitals and getting an idea of what had happened, they let him fall asleep on my chest while he played with my hair and I sang to him.
Fairly quickly they decided a cat scan was the next course of action to ensure no big problems. He completely freaked out at the idea of having his "picture taken in a space ship". Not sure why we do that kind of thing to our children. I don't know that I want to have my picture taken in a space ship. After several excruciating minutes trying to get that "picture" taken, we decided a sedative was a great idea. A little good stuff and 5 minutes later, a completely different visit to the cat scan. We were given our results that night, everything looked okay just watch him and if anything is weird take him to the doctor and get him checked out again.
Finally we arrived in Waupon after midnight, tired and ready to drop. Michael woke up around 6:00 and needed to go to the bathroom, having no idea what he would look like. I asked if he remembered anything from the night before and he said "I got tangled up with Scout and fell, but I didn't want to get my picture taken, that was a scary space ship." Good to know he remembered. He was so funny/shocked when he was himself in the mirror, "My eye, what is going on with my eye, I can't see it." It soaked in and we supplemented with Tylenol when it got achy, but we had a great weekend. The eye was puffy and scary looking, but he played and acted normal. We were out of the woods, everything was okay, this was just a really exciting story to tell and as you can imagine, everyone has asked.
So today was a pretty normal day, he didn't seem in much pain and we are seeing more and more of his eye, the swelling has really gone down. Then tonight around 6, before Curtis was home from work, a sheriff's deputy shows up at our door. I was a little worried as I answered the door and then he asked for Curtis, I told him he wasn't home yet. He asked who I was and I told him I was Rebekah, Curtis's wife. He then gave me an urgent message from the hospital in Madison Wisconsin. Curtis needed to call them right away about his 4 year old son. So now I am freaking out. I called Curtis and he called the hospital immediately. They told us to take Michael directly to the ER and have another cat scan, they had re-examined the scan from Friday and thought there may be a small bleed in his brain and a possible orbital fracture. Why I ask, didn't they call us instead of sending a deputy to my house with no info to freak me out. Not to complain or anything, but really, do you know the thoughts that were running through my brain.
Off to the ER again, this time we were able to get Michael to do the cat scan without medication, it took some talking and a promise of Perky Bear Pancakes at Perkins afterward, but he did it. So now the results, no brain bleed, THANK YOU LORD!! but he does have an orbital (eye socket) fracture. So tomorrow we call the ENT and get Michael checked out by him to determine if surgery is needed. The ER doctor thought it was unlikely but with all the swelling it is hard to know for sure. We will know soon, but the prayer is no surgery.
Long story long (I was about to say short, but really this is long, really long, it is late and I ramble - sorry) we have met our deductible already this year.
We traveled to Wisconsin this weekend to visit Curtis's parents and check out the new house (great by the way). We stopped in Madison for dinner and everything was normal. Adah was almost done with dinner, so I said I would stay with her in Culver's (shocking that we would stop there, I know) while she finished and Curtis could go take Scout on a bit of a walk to do what dogs need to do - go to the bathroom. Of course Michael wanted to go with his dad, he is Curtis's shadow. :) No problem I will meet you at the van in a few minutes, we will be in Waupon before dark. That was the plan, funny how plans change.
I was waiting by the van when I got a call from Curtis, "Something terrible has happened", doesn't that strike fear into your heart. I could hear Michael crying and I thought that something had happened to Scout, but Curt told me that Michael was hurt and he didn't know what to do, he told me where they where and Adah and I started moving toward the wails. I thought that it was a normal fall, "Oh buddy, where does it hurt, can I kiss it, do you want me to sing you a song . . . " you know the normal mom stuff. But when I got there, there was no consoling him. Curtis was like, "What do we do?" I told him to take Scout and head to the van and come back to get me and the kiddos. Hoping all the while that Michael would be calm when he returned and I could figure out what had happened. Not the case, Michael just wouldn't calm down, I could see the road rash on his face, but he couldn't stop crying long enough to explain what had happened, so I just held him and waited for Curtis. It didn't take long for him to return, but it was clear that Michael wasn't quite right, his eyes looked glassy or something and he was pale so we decided to head to the emergency room. YIKES!!
In the van I finally got some answers to what had happened, Curtis was picking up the present Scout left on the walk and Michael got tangled in the leash, then Scout (playing with Michael) ran the other way straightening the leash with Michael in it, that flipped him out and head first onto the asphalt. Driving to the ER I was just trying to keep him awake, somewhere someone told me that you aren't supposed to let head injury people go to sleep, and I didn't, but it was a fight. He just continued to cry and then he would say things like "I just can't take it" breaking my heart. I could almost see his eye swelling shut. Adah was just stunned silent through the whole ride. When we arrived at the ER I took Michael in while Curtis parked, there was no one else in there, amazingly enough. I think it was a God thing, to save my sanity and Curtis's hurting heart. They took him right in and after doing his vitals and getting an idea of what had happened, they let him fall asleep on my chest while he played with my hair and I sang to him.
Fairly quickly they decided a cat scan was the next course of action to ensure no big problems. He completely freaked out at the idea of having his "picture taken in a space ship". Not sure why we do that kind of thing to our children. I don't know that I want to have my picture taken in a space ship. After several excruciating minutes trying to get that "picture" taken, we decided a sedative was a great idea. A little good stuff and 5 minutes later, a completely different visit to the cat scan. We were given our results that night, everything looked okay just watch him and if anything is weird take him to the doctor and get him checked out again.
Finally we arrived in Waupon after midnight, tired and ready to drop. Michael woke up around 6:00 and needed to go to the bathroom, having no idea what he would look like. I asked if he remembered anything from the night before and he said "I got tangled up with Scout and fell, but I didn't want to get my picture taken, that was a scary space ship." Good to know he remembered. He was so funny/shocked when he was himself in the mirror, "My eye, what is going on with my eye, I can't see it." It soaked in and we supplemented with Tylenol when it got achy, but we had a great weekend. The eye was puffy and scary looking, but he played and acted normal. We were out of the woods, everything was okay, this was just a really exciting story to tell and as you can imagine, everyone has asked.
So today was a pretty normal day, he didn't seem in much pain and we are seeing more and more of his eye, the swelling has really gone down. Then tonight around 6, before Curtis was home from work, a sheriff's deputy shows up at our door. I was a little worried as I answered the door and then he asked for Curtis, I told him he wasn't home yet. He asked who I was and I told him I was Rebekah, Curtis's wife. He then gave me an urgent message from the hospital in Madison Wisconsin. Curtis needed to call them right away about his 4 year old son. So now I am freaking out. I called Curtis and he called the hospital immediately. They told us to take Michael directly to the ER and have another cat scan, they had re-examined the scan from Friday and thought there may be a small bleed in his brain and a possible orbital fracture. Why I ask, didn't they call us instead of sending a deputy to my house with no info to freak me out. Not to complain or anything, but really, do you know the thoughts that were running through my brain.
Off to the ER again, this time we were able to get Michael to do the cat scan without medication, it took some talking and a promise of Perky Bear Pancakes at Perkins afterward, but he did it. So now the results, no brain bleed, THANK YOU LORD!! but he does have an orbital (eye socket) fracture. So tomorrow we call the ENT and get Michael checked out by him to determine if surgery is needed. The ER doctor thought it was unlikely but with all the swelling it is hard to know for sure. We will know soon, but the prayer is no surgery.
Long story long (I was about to say short, but really this is long, really long, it is late and I ramble - sorry) we have met our deductible already this year.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Reading
So, I finally finished my last book, "Song of Erin". It took too long, not enough baths lately.
Some of you may not know that I love bubble baths and always have a bathtub book. Although the day that Real Simple comes in the mail I disappear for a bath. I have a great husband who is all for me disappearing for a long bath, aren't I blessed. There are times he comes looking for me, but usually only when it is nearly an hour or more. My sweet Curty, he is the best.
Back to the book, it is good, especially if you like historical fiction. Thanks Tim and Megan for getting me back into the escape of fiction, I needed it.
I am ready to start digging into those new books that have been patiently waiting for me. Here is the list:
So this is what I am going to read. Anyone want to join in on the fun? I think I am going to start with the organizing one, it is a must. I hate that I have to fake it and can't just live it. Wow, does that statement cover a multitude of issues or what? Yikes. So I am going to work through the "step-by-step guide to creating a system. . . "(back cover) I think that I will try to start on "Real Mom's . . . Real Jesus" too, as so many things come back to the spiritual. I will probably put off that monogamy book as long as I can, just knowing myself. (I am blushing, just thinking of it - PRUDE!!)
Some of you may not know that I love bubble baths and always have a bathtub book. Although the day that Real Simple comes in the mail I disappear for a bath. I have a great husband who is all for me disappearing for a long bath, aren't I blessed. There are times he comes looking for me, but usually only when it is nearly an hour or more. My sweet Curty, he is the best.
Back to the book, it is good, especially if you like historical fiction. Thanks Tim and Megan for getting me back into the escape of fiction, I needed it.
I am ready to start digging into those new books that have been patiently waiting for me. Here is the list:
- "The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized" Karen Ehman - currently at the bottom of a stack of things I will get to soon (unless I hide them to pretend I am organized and together). I should start with this one. :)
- "Chief Home Officer" can't find it, Michael hid it, but think it is under the couch or in the toy room.
- "Real Mom's . . . Real Jesus" Jill Savage. Can't wait to get into this - the back cover says "examine key behaviors and decisions Jesus made . . . Jill brings those lessons right down to the tiring, laundry filled, sticky fingered days every mom knows"
- "Red Hot Monogamy" Bill and Pam Farrel - currently at the post office, waiting for me to pick it up. I am a little embarrassed, hope it is in a unmarked, plain envelope. The prude in me is screaming no, but my sweet Curty said, if you are going to this conference this is the workshop to attend. He said he was joking, but we all know that most of the things we joke about are based in reality. Is this an over share? Don't talk to me about it, I am mortified.
So this is what I am going to read. Anyone want to join in on the fun? I think I am going to start with the organizing one, it is a must. I hate that I have to fake it and can't just live it. Wow, does that statement cover a multitude of issues or what? Yikes. So I am going to work through the "step-by-step guide to creating a system. . . "(back cover) I think that I will try to start on "Real Mom's . . . Real Jesus" too, as so many things come back to the spiritual. I will probably put off that monogamy book as long as I can, just knowing myself. (I am blushing, just thinking of it - PRUDE!!)
Monday, March 16, 2009
Mom's Who Read
Wow, what a weekend. I was able, thanks to the generous help of my sweet Curty and Mom and Eddie, to attend a weekend conference called Hearts at Home. Wow what a mom weekend. Basically it is a conference with the focus to re-energize, re-fresh, entertain, and educate mom's. May I say, job well done Heart at Home.
Thank you Jodi Yaley, for convincing me to go to my first conference. What a great joy you introduced me to. Thanks for the girls that I was able to spend time with at this conference: Natalie, Lisa, Tara, and Cherie, what fun you girls are. Thank you Mom and Eddie, for keeping Michael and giving him such a great weekend, it makes it easy to go away when there are no worries about my child. And most of all, thank you Curtis. You are the best husband and friend. You are so supportive and giving to me and always put my needs and wants at the top of your list. I hope that I do the same for you, although sometimes I don't see how I could ever match the many gifts and amount of love you have poured out onto me. Thank you for going with me this weekend to stay with Adah at a hotel and bring her to me whenever she needed to nurse. You consistently go above and beyond.
I went to 8 different classes while there and was inspired by each. I had a woman ask if my brain was melting with too much information, but the opposite was true. I was excited by each and amazed at how no matter how different they all seemed, they all dovetailed in my brain. Of course, each speaker I heard had written at least one book. I told Curtis after the first day that I could spend $1000 in the resource store, and I stand by it. I didn't spend that much, unfortunately he cut that budget dramatically. (Thank you debt snowball and Dave Ramsey - maybe in a few years I will be able to buy all the books I want - maybe I will have learned better self control - :) who knows which)
I did however buy four books, completely different from each other in theme and can't wait to get into them and use them in my life. There are things I want to take away from each: organization, mom skills, spiritual growth, and a stronger marriage. So I thought that maybe there are others who would like to read with me. Are there mom's who read out there who cannot commit to a weekly book group or a Bible study, but would like to just read a book with some support and encouragement from other mom's who read. This is a low pressure idea, but if you want to join my quest to read these books and make some changes in life, let me know and maybe we can do it together. Having a partner in these kind of things is always a good incentive for me. I am good with ideas and sometimes just terrible with the follow through. You should see all the great books on my book shelf that are just waiting for my renewed inspiration, passion, whatever it is that makes you actually pull one from the shelf, dust it off, open it up, and start reading and stick with it until it has either bored you to death or you have finished it. Maybe I will even get on a roll and finish the books I bought the first time I went to a Hearts conference nearly two years ago.
Mom's who read - UNITE!!
Thank you Jodi Yaley, for convincing me to go to my first conference. What a great joy you introduced me to. Thanks for the girls that I was able to spend time with at this conference: Natalie, Lisa, Tara, and Cherie, what fun you girls are. Thank you Mom and Eddie, for keeping Michael and giving him such a great weekend, it makes it easy to go away when there are no worries about my child. And most of all, thank you Curtis. You are the best husband and friend. You are so supportive and giving to me and always put my needs and wants at the top of your list. I hope that I do the same for you, although sometimes I don't see how I could ever match the many gifts and amount of love you have poured out onto me. Thank you for going with me this weekend to stay with Adah at a hotel and bring her to me whenever she needed to nurse. You consistently go above and beyond.
I went to 8 different classes while there and was inspired by each. I had a woman ask if my brain was melting with too much information, but the opposite was true. I was excited by each and amazed at how no matter how different they all seemed, they all dovetailed in my brain. Of course, each speaker I heard had written at least one book. I told Curtis after the first day that I could spend $1000 in the resource store, and I stand by it. I didn't spend that much, unfortunately he cut that budget dramatically. (Thank you debt snowball and Dave Ramsey - maybe in a few years I will be able to buy all the books I want - maybe I will have learned better self control - :) who knows which)
I did however buy four books, completely different from each other in theme and can't wait to get into them and use them in my life. There are things I want to take away from each: organization, mom skills, spiritual growth, and a stronger marriage. So I thought that maybe there are others who would like to read with me. Are there mom's who read out there who cannot commit to a weekly book group or a Bible study, but would like to just read a book with some support and encouragement from other mom's who read. This is a low pressure idea, but if you want to join my quest to read these books and make some changes in life, let me know and maybe we can do it together. Having a partner in these kind of things is always a good incentive for me. I am good with ideas and sometimes just terrible with the follow through. You should see all the great books on my book shelf that are just waiting for my renewed inspiration, passion, whatever it is that makes you actually pull one from the shelf, dust it off, open it up, and start reading and stick with it until it has either bored you to death or you have finished it. Maybe I will even get on a roll and finish the books I bought the first time I went to a Hearts conference nearly two years ago.
Mom's who read - UNITE!!
Friday, February 20, 2009
It still sucks
Does anyone else have things in life that seem like and eternity ago and yesterday all at the same time? I sure do. I am not sure if it is good or bad, but it seems to be my reality. Mine seem to be wrapped in loss and grief.
Today is the 1 year anniversary of my niece's death. (Is that even the right way to phrase that?) This one year has seemed like years and looking back it is like yesterday. Does that make any sense? When I think of seeing and holding her it is so long ago, but when I think about how I miss her and how I feel about losing her it is like yesterday.
It still sucks.
Shaelynn Sue, such a sweet girl, in fact that is what Michael still calls her, "our sweet girl". She was taken from us too soon and too young after battling the horrors of brain cancer for one year. I am not sure if it will ever seem right or fair that at 15 months a brain tumor was found and that at 27 months she would die.
It still sucks.
I just know that God has a plan and this was it. Now some of you may want to say "All things work together for good . . ." and while I do believe it is true, I also believe that it is okay for me to say it still sucks.
God sees a bigger picture than I do, in fact I believe he made the picture. But that doesn't mean that I understand or don't wish that things had worked out differently. I think that God understands that. He knows my mind and my heart better than I do, He created me (and all of us) to not know or understand everything. If we had it all figured out what would we need Him for? I am glad that He knows the plan and purpose of all things in life good and bad.
One day I may even see the big picture, but I still miss her and it still sucks.
I know that some of you will not be shocked by this, but there is a Jill Phillips song that I love and that fits where I am at now. "I believe though its hard sometimes You are the resurrection and the life."
That chorus plays in my head all the time. I need it's constant reminder, even though it still sucks. I believe that He is the resurrection and the life and through that belief I know that Shaelynn is healed and is with my dad and her grandma Carol and one day we will all be together again. Until that day . . . You are the resurrection and the life.
Today is the 1 year anniversary of my niece's death. (Is that even the right way to phrase that?) This one year has seemed like years and looking back it is like yesterday. Does that make any sense? When I think of seeing and holding her it is so long ago, but when I think about how I miss her and how I feel about losing her it is like yesterday.
It still sucks.
Shaelynn Sue, such a sweet girl, in fact that is what Michael still calls her, "our sweet girl". She was taken from us too soon and too young after battling the horrors of brain cancer for one year. I am not sure if it will ever seem right or fair that at 15 months a brain tumor was found and that at 27 months she would die.
It still sucks.
I just know that God has a plan and this was it. Now some of you may want to say "All things work together for good . . ." and while I do believe it is true, I also believe that it is okay for me to say it still sucks.
God sees a bigger picture than I do, in fact I believe he made the picture. But that doesn't mean that I understand or don't wish that things had worked out differently. I think that God understands that. He knows my mind and my heart better than I do, He created me (and all of us) to not know or understand everything. If we had it all figured out what would we need Him for? I am glad that He knows the plan and purpose of all things in life good and bad.
One day I may even see the big picture, but I still miss her and it still sucks.
I know that some of you will not be shocked by this, but there is a Jill Phillips song that I love and that fits where I am at now. "I believe though its hard sometimes You are the resurrection and the life."
That chorus plays in my head all the time. I need it's constant reminder, even though it still sucks. I believe that He is the resurrection and the life and through that belief I know that Shaelynn is healed and is with my dad and her grandma Carol and one day we will all be together again. Until that day . . . You are the resurrection and the life.
Friday, January 23, 2009
So as I finished my Michael blog a song came on my itunes and I had to share it. Sorry for all the postings lately, I guess I have been in the mood. I have been loving my new Jill Phillips cd - get it, you will love it too. There are so many great songs, but I am going to share one that seems to be in line with my heart right now. It is called "Children". I am going to give you most of the lyrics and some of my comments as well.
I know you better than anyone, I know that look in your eyes, The one where they say you are just like me, And that comes as little surprise, cause you're taking in everything I do - scary but true While I second guess all I thought I knew - oh yes, that is exactly where I am and have been since having children.
Oh, I love you so much, So how great is His love, That we should be called, We should be called, We should be called His children - isn't that an awesome analogy, if I can love my children so much, how much can a God who created the idea of children and love, love me. What a gift to be a child of God.
I want to keep you from crying, I want to save you from pain, I'd lay down my life for your life to go on, But couldn't let you do the same - Another mirror of God's love for us, He died so that I could live only true, pure, complete, selfless love could do that. So what kind of love would give selflessly, And take such joy in giving you to me - God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me Michael (and Adah, but it is Michael's birthday) and the joy that has been brought to my life through his is indescribable.
I know that I'm not enough for you, And you know this at your young age, Even though my love fill fail you - I wish not, but humans fail each other no matter how we try to prevent it. The love that He has will not change - God's love doesn't change. I guess if I could teach my children anything it would be that God's love is big enough and more than enough, you can never run out of the love of God. How do I teach that?
I am sure that there is some way to put this song on my blog so you could listen to it, maybe I will figure it out, maybe I won't. If not, check it out on her web site or buy it on itunes.
Have a great day!!
I know you better than anyone, I know that look in your eyes, The one where they say you are just like me, And that comes as little surprise, cause you're taking in everything I do - scary but true While I second guess all I thought I knew - oh yes, that is exactly where I am and have been since having children.
Oh, I love you so much, So how great is His love, That we should be called, We should be called, We should be called His children - isn't that an awesome analogy, if I can love my children so much, how much can a God who created the idea of children and love, love me. What a gift to be a child of God.
I want to keep you from crying, I want to save you from pain, I'd lay down my life for your life to go on, But couldn't let you do the same - Another mirror of God's love for us, He died so that I could live only true, pure, complete, selfless love could do that. So what kind of love would give selflessly, And take such joy in giving you to me - God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me Michael (and Adah, but it is Michael's birthday) and the joy that has been brought to my life through his is indescribable.
I know that I'm not enough for you, And you know this at your young age, Even though my love fill fail you - I wish not, but humans fail each other no matter how we try to prevent it. The love that He has will not change - God's love doesn't change. I guess if I could teach my children anything it would be that God's love is big enough and more than enough, you can never run out of the love of God. How do I teach that?
I am sure that there is some way to put this song on my blog so you could listen to it, maybe I will figure it out, maybe I won't. If not, check it out on her web site or buy it on itunes.
Have a great day!!
Michael is 4
It is official, I have a four year old. January 22 is a big day here at the Beekman house, it is our Michael day. Isn't it funny how one date on a calendar can suddenly be such a memorable day. I have had many January 22nd's in my life, but in 2005, January 22 became a day that I will celebrate all my days. It is the day that God gave me a remarkable gift, Michael David.
It was definitely one of my best days, a day where the unknown became known and yet there were so many questions in my head. Questions that I had never before thought to ask, and suddenly in a moment everything changed and the many questions that were answered multiplied into infinitely more questions. (wow, how many times can a person say questions in one sentence - whew?)
This has been a big year for Michael growing from three to four has been a year that we will never forget. We added a sister Adah, who he adores. I couldn't have dreamed that he would be better with her than he is. It is so fun to watch them together. I know that times will come where these blissful days will be a thing of the past as they will grow up to be normal kids, but right now we are loving the love. We added Grandpa Eddie, when my mom remarried. Every boy needs Grandpa and although Dad will never be replaced, it is great to have Eddie in Michael and the rest of our lives. We also lost Shaelynn, our sweet girl (that is what Michael always said) to an unthinkable and brave battle with cancer. The loss of his cousin is still constantly in his mind and on his heart. Earlier this week, he asked me exactly when we could visit Shaelynn in heaven. I wish I had better answers for those questions, but I don't. Heaven just isn't a place that we can visit, but those that love Jesus will get to go there to stay when He says that they are done here on Earth. So then he asked, in all his little boy innocence, so if I were a super-hero, could I fly to heaven, because super-hero's can do all kinds of super stuff that normal people can't do. I told him that I wished he could, but it just didn't work that way, and are you a super hero. No, Mom, I'm Michael. Oh, good to know. We will never stop wishing that we could see her and Michael will forever have "Team Shaelynn" etched into his heart and soul.
The gift of motherhood is watching who your children grow into. Michael seems to be growing into a sweet, but busy and normal, boy. I laugh daily at what he says and does. In fact one of my greatest fears in having a second child was that I wouldn't like anyone else as much as I do Michael. (Thankfully Adah seems to be growing into a completely likable girl herself - so Mom was right, that is nothing to worry about.) He has a will of his own, but isn't unable to take correction and instruction - some days are better than others. He remembers everything - good and bad. He loves to be read to and look at books, he has become great at building his own stories while he plays. It is so fun to watch and listen to him play, in fact I have caught him more than once in Adah's crib reading to her. She loves it and there is nothing better than hearing your older child tell your younger child the Christmas story or reading the Dr. Seuss book, Oh the Places You'll Go. Every time I think of how fast he is growing I think of a line from one of the books that was a favorite of my to teach my 8th graders, "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. Before any child moved from their childhood schooling to their adult lives the leader of the community said "Thank you for your childhood."
That is exactly how I feel. Michael, thank you for your childhood.
God thank you for Michael.
It was definitely one of my best days, a day where the unknown became known and yet there were so many questions in my head. Questions that I had never before thought to ask, and suddenly in a moment everything changed and the many questions that were answered multiplied into infinitely more questions. (wow, how many times can a person say questions in one sentence - whew?)
This has been a big year for Michael growing from three to four has been a year that we will never forget. We added a sister Adah, who he adores. I couldn't have dreamed that he would be better with her than he is. It is so fun to watch them together. I know that times will come where these blissful days will be a thing of the past as they will grow up to be normal kids, but right now we are loving the love. We added Grandpa Eddie, when my mom remarried. Every boy needs Grandpa and although Dad will never be replaced, it is great to have Eddie in Michael and the rest of our lives. We also lost Shaelynn, our sweet girl (that is what Michael always said) to an unthinkable and brave battle with cancer. The loss of his cousin is still constantly in his mind and on his heart. Earlier this week, he asked me exactly when we could visit Shaelynn in heaven. I wish I had better answers for those questions, but I don't. Heaven just isn't a place that we can visit, but those that love Jesus will get to go there to stay when He says that they are done here on Earth. So then he asked, in all his little boy innocence, so if I were a super-hero, could I fly to heaven, because super-hero's can do all kinds of super stuff that normal people can't do. I told him that I wished he could, but it just didn't work that way, and are you a super hero. No, Mom, I'm Michael. Oh, good to know. We will never stop wishing that we could see her and Michael will forever have "Team Shaelynn" etched into his heart and soul.
The gift of motherhood is watching who your children grow into. Michael seems to be growing into a sweet, but busy and normal, boy. I laugh daily at what he says and does. In fact one of my greatest fears in having a second child was that I wouldn't like anyone else as much as I do Michael. (Thankfully Adah seems to be growing into a completely likable girl herself - so Mom was right, that is nothing to worry about.) He has a will of his own, but isn't unable to take correction and instruction - some days are better than others. He remembers everything - good and bad. He loves to be read to and look at books, he has become great at building his own stories while he plays. It is so fun to watch and listen to him play, in fact I have caught him more than once in Adah's crib reading to her. She loves it and there is nothing better than hearing your older child tell your younger child the Christmas story or reading the Dr. Seuss book, Oh the Places You'll Go. Every time I think of how fast he is growing I think of a line from one of the books that was a favorite of my to teach my 8th graders, "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. Before any child moved from their childhood schooling to their adult lives the leader of the community said "Thank you for your childhood."
That is exactly how I feel. Michael, thank you for your childhood.
God thank you for Michael.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monster Truck
As we sat watching the whole inaugural preceding events I was trying to explain everything to Michael. It was kind of fun. I actually remember watching the last inauguration 4 years ago, I was big (overdue) and pregnant with him, talking to my belly about what was happening and wondering who in fact was in my belly. Feeling a little ridiculous, but I was alone so that was okay. To sit here today watching it with the one who was in my belly is one of those mom moments.
But as we were watching the parade, he said "Where are the monster trucks?" I told him about the important cars and all those other vehicles that were there to keep our current and future president safe. And he with all the logic of a child said "But Mom, wouldn't a monster truck be helpful? Wouldn't that be good to keep The President and Barack Omama safe? It could run over the bad guys." I told him that maybe when he was president he could have monster trucks in his procession. He told me that he wasn't going to be president, he was going to be Bob the Builder.
Life according to an almost 4 year old, and I have to agree with him, the procession would have been better with a monster truck.
But as we were watching the parade, he said "Where are the monster trucks?" I told him about the important cars and all those other vehicles that were there to keep our current and future president safe. And he with all the logic of a child said "But Mom, wouldn't a monster truck be helpful? Wouldn't that be good to keep The President and Barack Omama safe? It could run over the bad guys." I told him that maybe when he was president he could have monster trucks in his procession. He told me that he wasn't going to be president, he was going to be Bob the Builder.
Life according to an almost 4 year old, and I have to agree with him, the procession would have been better with a monster truck.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Too Long
Okay - so it has been a while. I think about blogging and then do something else, like play spider solitaire until I win. I am addicted.
Am I the only one who feels like she is so busy, but when asked what she has been doing she says, "Not much". Not because I am underplaying my life, but because I genuinely don't remember what I have been doing. I just know that I don't have time (or is it take the time) to do things like, clean, fold laundry, or go to the library with my children.
Oh, that reminds me, last week we did make it to the library. YEAH!! (I hadn't showered and didn't have a real bra on, but we made it. I left my coat and my stocking cap on.) So while we were there we signed up for the winter reading program. Fun, I know. There was an older lady there, who said, while I was standing there. "Isn't it sad that kids don't read just for fun anymore, you have to bribe them with trinkets and treats."
I stand there with the 3 books and 2 audio books with the book to follow along with that Michael just picked out, and we argued because he wanted more, thinking should I say "NOT MY KID - I could read to him all day and he would love it!!" Which would probably sound defensive and not true at all. Or should I say nothing and pretend not to hear her railing on the downward spin of society being blamed on lazy TV/video game crazed children whose parents use a box to occupy their children instead of challenging them with books.
I, shockingly, stayed quiet. Then she saw me and said "well, you know that isn't true of the mom's who would come to the library with their children." Forced smile, forced smile returned to you lady. Then it occurred to me, this is probably me in 30 years. I need to learn to shut up and not share every opinion just because it is in my head.
So this is a little random, I know. But so am I.
Am I the only one who feels like she is so busy, but when asked what she has been doing she says, "Not much". Not because I am underplaying my life, but because I genuinely don't remember what I have been doing. I just know that I don't have time (or is it take the time) to do things like, clean, fold laundry, or go to the library with my children.
Oh, that reminds me, last week we did make it to the library. YEAH!! (I hadn't showered and didn't have a real bra on, but we made it. I left my coat and my stocking cap on.) So while we were there we signed up for the winter reading program. Fun, I know. There was an older lady there, who said, while I was standing there. "Isn't it sad that kids don't read just for fun anymore, you have to bribe them with trinkets and treats."
I stand there with the 3 books and 2 audio books with the book to follow along with that Michael just picked out, and we argued because he wanted more, thinking should I say "NOT MY KID - I could read to him all day and he would love it!!" Which would probably sound defensive and not true at all. Or should I say nothing and pretend not to hear her railing on the downward spin of society being blamed on lazy TV/video game crazed children whose parents use a box to occupy their children instead of challenging them with books.
I, shockingly, stayed quiet. Then she saw me and said "well, you know that isn't true of the mom's who would come to the library with their children." Forced smile, forced smile returned to you lady. Then it occurred to me, this is probably me in 30 years. I need to learn to shut up and not share every opinion just because it is in my head.
So this is a little random, I know. But so am I.
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