So as I finished my Michael blog a song came on my itunes and I had to share it. Sorry for all the postings lately, I guess I have been in the mood. I have been loving my new Jill Phillips cd - get it, you will love it too. There are so many great songs, but I am going to share one that seems to be in line with my heart right now. It is called "Children". I am going to give you most of the lyrics and some of my comments as well.
I know you better than anyone, I know that look in your eyes, The one where they say you are just like me, And that comes as little surprise, cause you're taking in everything I do - scary but true While I second guess all I thought I knew - oh yes, that is exactly where I am and have been since having children.
Oh, I love you so much, So how great is His love, That we should be called, We should be called, We should be called His children - isn't that an awesome analogy, if I can love my children so much, how much can a God who created the idea of children and love, love me. What a gift to be a child of God.
I want to keep you from crying, I want to save you from pain, I'd lay down my life for your life to go on, But couldn't let you do the same - Another mirror of God's love for us, He died so that I could live only true, pure, complete, selfless love could do that. So what kind of love would give selflessly, And take such joy in giving you to me - God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me Michael (and Adah, but it is Michael's birthday) and the joy that has been brought to my life through his is indescribable.
I know that I'm not enough for you, And you know this at your young age, Even though my love fill fail you - I wish not, but humans fail each other no matter how we try to prevent it. The love that He has will not change - God's love doesn't change. I guess if I could teach my children anything it would be that God's love is big enough and more than enough, you can never run out of the love of God. How do I teach that?
I am sure that there is some way to put this song on my blog so you could listen to it, maybe I will figure it out, maybe I won't. If not, check it out on her web site or buy it on itunes.
Have a great day!!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Michael is 4
It is official, I have a four year old. January 22 is a big day here at the Beekman house, it is our Michael day. Isn't it funny how one date on a calendar can suddenly be such a memorable day. I have had many January 22nd's in my life, but in 2005, January 22 became a day that I will celebrate all my days. It is the day that God gave me a remarkable gift, Michael David.
It was definitely one of my best days, a day where the unknown became known and yet there were so many questions in my head. Questions that I had never before thought to ask, and suddenly in a moment everything changed and the many questions that were answered multiplied into infinitely more questions. (wow, how many times can a person say questions in one sentence - whew?)
This has been a big year for Michael growing from three to four has been a year that we will never forget. We added a sister Adah, who he adores. I couldn't have dreamed that he would be better with her than he is. It is so fun to watch them together. I know that times will come where these blissful days will be a thing of the past as they will grow up to be normal kids, but right now we are loving the love. We added Grandpa Eddie, when my mom remarried. Every boy needs Grandpa and although Dad will never be replaced, it is great to have Eddie in Michael and the rest of our lives. We also lost Shaelynn, our sweet girl (that is what Michael always said) to an unthinkable and brave battle with cancer. The loss of his cousin is still constantly in his mind and on his heart. Earlier this week, he asked me exactly when we could visit Shaelynn in heaven. I wish I had better answers for those questions, but I don't. Heaven just isn't a place that we can visit, but those that love Jesus will get to go there to stay when He says that they are done here on Earth. So then he asked, in all his little boy innocence, so if I were a super-hero, could I fly to heaven, because super-hero's can do all kinds of super stuff that normal people can't do. I told him that I wished he could, but it just didn't work that way, and are you a super hero. No, Mom, I'm Michael. Oh, good to know. We will never stop wishing that we could see her and Michael will forever have "Team Shaelynn" etched into his heart and soul.
The gift of motherhood is watching who your children grow into. Michael seems to be growing into a sweet, but busy and normal, boy. I laugh daily at what he says and does. In fact one of my greatest fears in having a second child was that I wouldn't like anyone else as much as I do Michael. (Thankfully Adah seems to be growing into a completely likable girl herself - so Mom was right, that is nothing to worry about.) He has a will of his own, but isn't unable to take correction and instruction - some days are better than others. He remembers everything - good and bad. He loves to be read to and look at books, he has become great at building his own stories while he plays. It is so fun to watch and listen to him play, in fact I have caught him more than once in Adah's crib reading to her. She loves it and there is nothing better than hearing your older child tell your younger child the Christmas story or reading the Dr. Seuss book, Oh the Places You'll Go. Every time I think of how fast he is growing I think of a line from one of the books that was a favorite of my to teach my 8th graders, "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. Before any child moved from their childhood schooling to their adult lives the leader of the community said "Thank you for your childhood."
That is exactly how I feel. Michael, thank you for your childhood.
God thank you for Michael.
It was definitely one of my best days, a day where the unknown became known and yet there were so many questions in my head. Questions that I had never before thought to ask, and suddenly in a moment everything changed and the many questions that were answered multiplied into infinitely more questions. (wow, how many times can a person say questions in one sentence - whew?)
This has been a big year for Michael growing from three to four has been a year that we will never forget. We added a sister Adah, who he adores. I couldn't have dreamed that he would be better with her than he is. It is so fun to watch them together. I know that times will come where these blissful days will be a thing of the past as they will grow up to be normal kids, but right now we are loving the love. We added Grandpa Eddie, when my mom remarried. Every boy needs Grandpa and although Dad will never be replaced, it is great to have Eddie in Michael and the rest of our lives. We also lost Shaelynn, our sweet girl (that is what Michael always said) to an unthinkable and brave battle with cancer. The loss of his cousin is still constantly in his mind and on his heart. Earlier this week, he asked me exactly when we could visit Shaelynn in heaven. I wish I had better answers for those questions, but I don't. Heaven just isn't a place that we can visit, but those that love Jesus will get to go there to stay when He says that they are done here on Earth. So then he asked, in all his little boy innocence, so if I were a super-hero, could I fly to heaven, because super-hero's can do all kinds of super stuff that normal people can't do. I told him that I wished he could, but it just didn't work that way, and are you a super hero. No, Mom, I'm Michael. Oh, good to know. We will never stop wishing that we could see her and Michael will forever have "Team Shaelynn" etched into his heart and soul.
The gift of motherhood is watching who your children grow into. Michael seems to be growing into a sweet, but busy and normal, boy. I laugh daily at what he says and does. In fact one of my greatest fears in having a second child was that I wouldn't like anyone else as much as I do Michael. (Thankfully Adah seems to be growing into a completely likable girl herself - so Mom was right, that is nothing to worry about.) He has a will of his own, but isn't unable to take correction and instruction - some days are better than others. He remembers everything - good and bad. He loves to be read to and look at books, he has become great at building his own stories while he plays. It is so fun to watch and listen to him play, in fact I have caught him more than once in Adah's crib reading to her. She loves it and there is nothing better than hearing your older child tell your younger child the Christmas story or reading the Dr. Seuss book, Oh the Places You'll Go. Every time I think of how fast he is growing I think of a line from one of the books that was a favorite of my to teach my 8th graders, "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. Before any child moved from their childhood schooling to their adult lives the leader of the community said "Thank you for your childhood."
That is exactly how I feel. Michael, thank you for your childhood.
God thank you for Michael.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monster Truck
As we sat watching the whole inaugural preceding events I was trying to explain everything to Michael. It was kind of fun. I actually remember watching the last inauguration 4 years ago, I was big (overdue) and pregnant with him, talking to my belly about what was happening and wondering who in fact was in my belly. Feeling a little ridiculous, but I was alone so that was okay. To sit here today watching it with the one who was in my belly is one of those mom moments.
But as we were watching the parade, he said "Where are the monster trucks?" I told him about the important cars and all those other vehicles that were there to keep our current and future president safe. And he with all the logic of a child said "But Mom, wouldn't a monster truck be helpful? Wouldn't that be good to keep The President and Barack Omama safe? It could run over the bad guys." I told him that maybe when he was president he could have monster trucks in his procession. He told me that he wasn't going to be president, he was going to be Bob the Builder.
Life according to an almost 4 year old, and I have to agree with him, the procession would have been better with a monster truck.
But as we were watching the parade, he said "Where are the monster trucks?" I told him about the important cars and all those other vehicles that were there to keep our current and future president safe. And he with all the logic of a child said "But Mom, wouldn't a monster truck be helpful? Wouldn't that be good to keep The President and Barack Omama safe? It could run over the bad guys." I told him that maybe when he was president he could have monster trucks in his procession. He told me that he wasn't going to be president, he was going to be Bob the Builder.
Life according to an almost 4 year old, and I have to agree with him, the procession would have been better with a monster truck.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Too Long
Okay - so it has been a while. I think about blogging and then do something else, like play spider solitaire until I win. I am addicted.
Am I the only one who feels like she is so busy, but when asked what she has been doing she says, "Not much". Not because I am underplaying my life, but because I genuinely don't remember what I have been doing. I just know that I don't have time (or is it take the time) to do things like, clean, fold laundry, or go to the library with my children.
Oh, that reminds me, last week we did make it to the library. YEAH!! (I hadn't showered and didn't have a real bra on, but we made it. I left my coat and my stocking cap on.) So while we were there we signed up for the winter reading program. Fun, I know. There was an older lady there, who said, while I was standing there. "Isn't it sad that kids don't read just for fun anymore, you have to bribe them with trinkets and treats."
I stand there with the 3 books and 2 audio books with the book to follow along with that Michael just picked out, and we argued because he wanted more, thinking should I say "NOT MY KID - I could read to him all day and he would love it!!" Which would probably sound defensive and not true at all. Or should I say nothing and pretend not to hear her railing on the downward spin of society being blamed on lazy TV/video game crazed children whose parents use a box to occupy their children instead of challenging them with books.
I, shockingly, stayed quiet. Then she saw me and said "well, you know that isn't true of the mom's who would come to the library with their children." Forced smile, forced smile returned to you lady. Then it occurred to me, this is probably me in 30 years. I need to learn to shut up and not share every opinion just because it is in my head.
So this is a little random, I know. But so am I.
Am I the only one who feels like she is so busy, but when asked what she has been doing she says, "Not much". Not because I am underplaying my life, but because I genuinely don't remember what I have been doing. I just know that I don't have time (or is it take the time) to do things like, clean, fold laundry, or go to the library with my children.
Oh, that reminds me, last week we did make it to the library. YEAH!! (I hadn't showered and didn't have a real bra on, but we made it. I left my coat and my stocking cap on.) So while we were there we signed up for the winter reading program. Fun, I know. There was an older lady there, who said, while I was standing there. "Isn't it sad that kids don't read just for fun anymore, you have to bribe them with trinkets and treats."
I stand there with the 3 books and 2 audio books with the book to follow along with that Michael just picked out, and we argued because he wanted more, thinking should I say "NOT MY KID - I could read to him all day and he would love it!!" Which would probably sound defensive and not true at all. Or should I say nothing and pretend not to hear her railing on the downward spin of society being blamed on lazy TV/video game crazed children whose parents use a box to occupy their children instead of challenging them with books.
I, shockingly, stayed quiet. Then she saw me and said "well, you know that isn't true of the mom's who would come to the library with their children." Forced smile, forced smile returned to you lady. Then it occurred to me, this is probably me in 30 years. I need to learn to shut up and not share every opinion just because it is in my head.
So this is a little random, I know. But so am I.
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