Well, this week I have been getting a bit of a hard time from my family. They have called it "the week of Michael", as if that is a bad thing :). All because each day for the past week I have asked Michael what it is that he would want to do before he started kindergarten. The list has been varied. Play checkers, go to the pool, make chocolate chip cookie pie . . . it has been a good week. All leading up to tomorrow, the start of kindergarten.
So here on the eve of beginning life as a school mom I am full of insecurity, excitement, hope, worry . . . name the emotion it is in me NOW!! Where has the time gone? How can he be 5?
We have been talking a lot about what to expect, how to act, but even though he feels excited and full of anticipation, I have evidently not been listening to my own pep talks. I'm thinking about how much I will miss of his life. I'm wondering if I have done the mom thing well enough to send him off well into a whole new life. So tonight when he told me that I didn't need him to walk him into the school tomorrow, I was both sad and happy. Happy that he feels so ready, but sad that so quickly he is independent and doesn't need me. We did decide that I would walk him in tomorrow and leave right away and then we would see how Tuesday would go. Good plan right? We talked about hugs and kisses before, not at the school.
I know that what I told him is true. This is an important step on his journey to who God wants him to be. This is where we begin to figure out what God has planned for his life. This is just the beginning. Why is that so easy to say, know it is true, and yet is so hard to embrace. I could go on about why I am blue and what I have said to him, but really said to me, but I am going to stop myself . . . HERE!
Now the plan for tomorrow. Up in plenty of time to pray, get myself ready and then get my kindergartner going. For him, shower, pancakes, pray, into the van (I know I am close enough to walk, but I want to be in the privacy of my van for the crying, not walking down the sidewalk making a scene) hug and kiss, then walk to the classroom and leave him there excited and curious as to what the day will bring. I will then return to my van, cry for a bit, head to a mom date with great friends at Olde World for some commiserating (may cry a bit more - but hoping to keep the tears to a minimum, no guarantees) then off for a walk with Sally, her Maddy, and my Adah, return home make banana bread for an after school snack, then return to the school to pick up my boy. Hopefully he is still excited. Return home and hear all about his day over his favorite snack. Good plan right?
So glad we were able to take this last week to focus on the great things about summer and family. HOORAY for the week of Michael. I think it maybe become a tradition. Not always the week of Michael, Adah may not like that when it is her turn to go to school. Oh brother, not ready to deal with that yet, so forget I said that.
The exciting thing about Michael going to school is that Adah and I will get to be together all day, just us girls. Some solid time to learn all about the daughter God blessed me with. I love the prospect of that!! We haven't had much time just us girls, so this is an awesome opportunity to figure out some of those things that are easy to miss when there is more than one person competing for your attention. I think that she will miss Michael, but we will find our rhythm. Such a blessing hidden within a change and the sadness that change brings. But isn't that one of the things God does best?
Here is what I have been praying with Michael and a verse I love when things are unknown: Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Isn't that a great way to send your favorite boy to kindergarten?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Baby Shower :)
Today at camp I was blessed to be able to attend a baby shower of a dear friend, Sarah. We go way back, she was in my cabin when I was a counselor here, many moons ago. Now she and her sweet hubby work at MY camp East Iowa Bible Camp with my sweet sister Sarah and her hubby. What a blessing all children are, but it seems like you acknowledge the miracle more when it is a long wished and prayed for child, like this little girl is. We can't wait to meet you and tell you stories of your parents enduring faith, hope, and love for the miracle of you. See you in September :)
So, today we had to give some mom advice to Sarah as she begins to embark on this life altering journey of enlarging her family. This activity has made me think a bit about some of my mom advice. So when I begin to reflect and have the time to actually do it, I sit down and do this, blog a bit.
1) Find a way to celebrate each child's person - both the stuff you love as well as the stuff that takes some adjusting to. Strengths are show even in bad behavior or just the stuff that you don't get that may drive you crazy.
2) Do something that lets the child know that they create joy in you - just by being themselves.
3) Realize that you get to grow with your child, and praise God that they aren't born with a long memory or the ability to tell all your beginner's mistakes. There is a learning curve. Enjoy the time of learning.
4) Begin to practice hard and uncomfortable conversations, before they can talk back. I started talking about what is private and who should be touching it with Michael as a baby, so I could get past my nerves and weirdness before he could ask me any questions or remember how I goofed it up.
5) Laugh a lot and remember whether you laugh or cry you still have to clean up the mess. The laughing makes it easier.
6) Find a way to say "I Love You" so that they hear it even when you don't say the words.
7) Enjoy this time. It is short, too short.
I hope that you will find the joy (there will still be rotten days, but as a whole) in motherhood that I have found and that I saw in my mom. I knew that she loved me and loved being my mom, because she said it or showed it nearly every day of my life. That is a power that is unmet by any superhero, TMZ character, politician, or power broker. It is the power of a God loving parent who can bless their child with the unconditional love they need to grow, fall, thrive, fail, and succeed. I pray that one day even after all my mess ups my kids will say, "Mom was many things, some good, some crazy, and some that I don't want to be, but she was a person with great love for me." Today I pray that will be your story as well.
God bless you Sarah and Tyson and your growing family. I pray for an uneventful birth and a healthy child and many years to hold your entire family close.
So, today we had to give some mom advice to Sarah as she begins to embark on this life altering journey of enlarging her family. This activity has made me think a bit about some of my mom advice. So when I begin to reflect and have the time to actually do it, I sit down and do this, blog a bit.
1) Find a way to celebrate each child's person - both the stuff you love as well as the stuff that takes some adjusting to. Strengths are show even in bad behavior or just the stuff that you don't get that may drive you crazy.
2) Do something that lets the child know that they create joy in you - just by being themselves.
3) Realize that you get to grow with your child, and praise God that they aren't born with a long memory or the ability to tell all your beginner's mistakes. There is a learning curve. Enjoy the time of learning.
4) Begin to practice hard and uncomfortable conversations, before they can talk back. I started talking about what is private and who should be touching it with Michael as a baby, so I could get past my nerves and weirdness before he could ask me any questions or remember how I goofed it up.
5) Laugh a lot and remember whether you laugh or cry you still have to clean up the mess. The laughing makes it easier.
6) Find a way to say "I Love You" so that they hear it even when you don't say the words.
7) Enjoy this time. It is short, too short.
I hope that you will find the joy (there will still be rotten days, but as a whole) in motherhood that I have found and that I saw in my mom. I knew that she loved me and loved being my mom, because she said it or showed it nearly every day of my life. That is a power that is unmet by any superhero, TMZ character, politician, or power broker. It is the power of a God loving parent who can bless their child with the unconditional love they need to grow, fall, thrive, fail, and succeed. I pray that one day even after all my mess ups my kids will say, "Mom was many things, some good, some crazy, and some that I don't want to be, but she was a person with great love for me." Today I pray that will be your story as well.
God bless you Sarah and Tyson and your growing family. I pray for an uneventful birth and a healthy child and many years to hold your entire family close.
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