What a week . . . Joy

Well, here it is . . . the week Joy gets married. 

You know it is still strange.  Isn't your little sister supposed to stay "little"?  It wasn't this weird to see any of my other siblings get married, but Baby Joy, now that is just weird. 

To me it is that thing that you knew would happen one day, but are surprised when that day actually gets here.  Well, for me that day is nearly here.  And then suddenly, there she is, a bride, a wife, a grown up.  I don't know if she will ever be a "grown up" in my mind.  She will be 87 and have 43 great grand children and I will still be think of her Baby Joy and say things like, now you have plenty of time don't rush it, and telling all her babies stories of her youth.  HELLO if Joy is 87 I will be, uuuuhhh a few months older than that :)

I am so glad to be able to be a part of this new beginning with her.  What a blessing it is to have a sister that is _____ years younger than me and have her be one of my very best friends, definitely in my top 10 favorite people in the world.  It has been fun to watch everything come together for her wedding, but more fun to watch her begin to build a marriage.  Which is so much more important than a great party, don't get me wrong, I will be dancing and eating cake, but I want to do it again in 50 years to celebrate their golden anniversary. 

Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold. ~ Judith Olney


Marriage advice, from a virtual beginner in marriage - only nearly 8 years, but 8 great years. (Love my sweet Curty.) 
1)  Realize that the thing that you love about him will become the thing that drives you CRAZY.  Just try to remember that you chose this and find the good about it.  Go back to that moment when you first got together and you thought it was the greatest thing and smile and laugh and find ways to admire that "thing" whatever it is, again.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~ Germaine Greer

2) Learn to laugh.  There will be times when it is hard to find the fun, but you need to search it out.  A home filled with laughter is easier to live in.  Sharing memories, stories, movies, books, music, . . . are great ways to share laughter.  Laugh at yourself, when the smoke alarm goes off say "dinner's ready". 

Let all thy joys be as the month of May, and all thy days be as a marriage day. ~Francis Quarles


3) Share your warning signs.  We all have signs that things are about to get "serious".  Make sure that Grant knows your tells.  Otherwise he is just sitting there watching ESPN and you are banging around in the kitchen and suddenly out of nowhere you begin talking to yourself and there it is meltdown, he asks what you're having for dinner and WHAMO - he didn't even know there was a line and there he is dancing on the other side of it.  Not that I would know this is helpful hint by personal experience, I must have read it in a book or something.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. ~ Ogden Nash

4) Brag on him.  Nothing will get him more on your side than when he feels like you are with him and for him, all the time and completely.  Not to mention the side benefit of saying it out loud helps you to really know and believe it to be true.  So when you are tempted to go negative, not that you will be, but if you are you will remember all the truth  you have shared with others about him, his character, his goals, his clothes and you will know it was all exactly on the money about him and just what you need to remember to turn the other way on Downer Drive. 

Come, let's be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with. ~Charles Dickens

5) It seems like there should be 5 things, I didn't mean to go to 5, but if you have a 4 part thing you need the 5th just to make it feel finished.  Maybe that is just me.  So for the 5th I will go a bit more spiritual.  Know God and know Grant.  You have to do both, or you will be missing out on the greatest part of marriage.  I know that it is weird, because a lot of people will tell you it is the S*#, that is up at the top of the list, but not in the top spot.  If you know God and are always growing in that relationship, He will pull you closer to Grant.  And if you know Grant and are always growing to know him better, since you picked a godly husband, he will be pulling you closer to God.  That kind of intimacy and vulnerability will make the S*# better - bonus. 

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. ~Robert Browning

I love you Baby Joy and I am glad you picked Grant.  I am blessed to be a part of your wedding and will be a huge fan of your marriage.  I can't wait to see where God will take you and what your life together will bring.  Is is still a bit weird that you are getting married, but now it would be weird if you didn't.  So in case you were unsure I am proud of you and so glad that God made us sisters. 

I didn't start this as a heart felt letter to Joy, it just turned into that.  I just went back and added the marriage quotes, I love those kind of things.   Hope that is okay with the 2 people that read this.  :)

Tonight was Michael's last pre-school conference.  Incredible.  Where has the time gone?  There are too many adjectives to describe my Michael.  He is just a fun and funny boy, I enjoy him daily.  I know I am his mom, but seriously, he is one of my favorite people.  There is just something about a kid who loves every minute of being a boy and brings in a dandelion bouquet with these words Mom, do you know why I bring you these pretty flowers?  Because I want to show you I love you.  He melts my heart while I work out the stains in his clothes and wonder how every pair of pants has hole's in the knees. 

My prayer with and for him will continue to be: Lord keep his heart soft and kind, make him a good friend who seeks the good in others, befriends many, help him to learn to work it out without using his gifts for selfishness, and help his inquisitive mind to continue to grow through all the questions he asks and all the details he remembers.  Help me be the mother he needs me to be in order for him to grow into the man God plans for him to be.

Bedtime

Okay, so it is 1:30, again.  Why do I always see the a.m. come across my clock?  I would like to be one of those early to bed early to rise people.  BUT, I am not. 

The house is quiet.  I procrastinated.  In my rush to finish and get to bed before the a.m. I have seen both of my sweet children.  Which only prolongs the length it takes to get anything done.  They seem to have a special alarm that triggers when mom is in a time crunch. 

BING!!! Now is the perfect time to have a nightmare, Mom is trying to get stuff done and would love the chance to hold me. 

Actually, it usually does happen at just the right time.  It really gives me the opportunity to evaluate where I am at with things.  What is important?  How much do I really NEED to do this?  How long will it take to get it done?  What can I not do and still be done?  All those things that in the business of finishing stuff up, I loose sight of.  Funny how you see the big picture after midnight.

Also funny, how my husband does not hear a child crying across the hall, but I can hear the same cry down the stairs on the opposite side of the house at my computer or cleaning the kitchen.  Men.  Gotta love them.