Thanksgiving ...

It's a long one and late :) due to some computing and timing issues - nothing major, just not the way I'd planned.  I started it last week, before thanksgiving.

I love Thanksgiving!!  It seems like the only holiday that is truly what it says it is: a day to be thankful.  For us, it seems like it's the one holiday that is pretty relaxed and about God, family, and country.  (Is there a normal order for that?  Seems like I have it wrong, but it's the order that works best for me, and since I'm writing this I get to pick.)  I love the hospitality of having a big shindig and going all out for family, friends, and those you find who need someone to act as family and friend.  I've never hosted, so maybe my mind would be changed if it was ever my house opened up, but I would if mom gave it up or the Beekman's wanted to travel here.  I love taking some time to speak your thanks to those you are most thankful for.  I love hanging out and watching football, playing games, and chatting.  I love going home exhilarated and exhausted from spending the day talking, eating, playing, watching, laughing, eating, and all the other things you rarely take time out to do.  Why do we only have these awesome days a couple times a year?

I have loved reading my friends daily gratitude's on Facebook and meant to do it, but I forgot about it until 3 days in and then thought, I'll catch up tomorrow.  Guess what, I forgot again and put it off again, and then WHAM!! it's the 20somethingth, and then it's too late and seemed weird to try to catch up then, soooo ... I'll just do it here.

1. I'm so thankful for the grace of God.  It has pulled me through too many times to count.  It is only through Gods grace that I have any of my blessings and have been rescued from my mistakes and escaped the consequences I so deserve.  I can see God's grace in each aspect of my life and hope thatno matter what I go through I can see His grace, but I have learned that you can only find it when you are willing to look.
2. Curtis - he showed up in my life just when I thought it was time to give up finding the right guy  and WHAM everything changed.  He encourages me to be my best, but has loved me at my worst.  We have celebrated the greatest blessings in life together and mourned great losses.  What would life be without him, I hope I never have to find out.
3. Michael - my firstborn, he is an introspective and thoughtful boy.  He makes me laugh and has surprised me with his thoughts and ideas about so many things in the world.  He still snuggles with me and I am clinging to his boyishness, knowing that too soon it will be gone.
4. Adah Kay - my pixie girl.  She has a secret delight in her eyes most of the time.  She is a twirling, sparkly, mud puddle lover.  She is a little girl and loves it.  She is chatty and fun loving, loves learning new things and would live nothing more than just tell you what she thinks and how it should be done.  She has insights abou the wonder of God and helps us all join her in that wonder and brings us back to what matters most.
5. Gideon - my formerly Chibalicious toddler boy.  He has a contagious smile.  He is the reason we are building a fence.  He has a pull to be outside, it's nearly magnetic, boundaries are good for him, he likes to push them a bit.  Each day he is learning and loves to play.  What would I do without the boy who asks questions and taught me that control was an illusion?
6. Dad - he was taken from us before we were ready, but really, when would I have been ready to lose him?  He taught me so many things as I grew up and even after he was gone.  I miss him daily and wish my children would have know Grandpa Mike.  God knew what was best for him and I know he hasn't been lonely in heaven.  I look around and see others with their dads and sometimes I get a bit jealous, but then I think, would I trade my dad for any other dad and the answer is always no.  I had my dad for 29 years and knew without question that he loved me and our family, he loved and served God and many others, and I lost him suddenly but without the struggle that sometimes is there when a relationship has been fractured.  He was not perfect,for sure, I could write about his imperfections, but he was the man chosen to be my dad and I wouldn't trade him for a dad that would live until I'm an old lady.  
7. Mom - a woman who is stronger than she knows.  She taught me to love my kids and roll with it.  She allowed me to be who I was and listened, a lot, and still does.  My mom has faced many losses, disappointments, and her faith has remained strong.  She believes that God is good and has a plan, even when times are hard and family is important even when they drive you crazy.  She laughs a lot, works and plays hard, teaches as she goes, expects your best, and shows love and grace to everyone she meets.  (Well, most everyone - we do have a few stories of her frustrations showing, but they are all funny and not disrespectful - honestly, they cracking me up just thinking of them now.)
8. Sarah - my sister and my friend.  She has know me most of my life and knows my secrets and can tell when I'm not telling the whole story.  She is generous and is growing more and more confident with each year.  She still surprises me.  I wish she lived next door.  I could talk to her everyday.  
9. Tim - my brother in Wisconsin.  I don't see or talk to him enough.  I'm proud to be his sister.   Freckle faced and fair strawberry blondes - with him I fit.  In our family we looked different than our dark haired, dark eyed siblings, but that was fun.  I've always been a fan of his and continue to root for him and proudly tell people I'm his sister.  I love that our oldest boys are only 6 weeks apart and love each other and have such fun together.  Tim has always been more than a brother, he's my friend and I cherish any time I get to sit, talk, and laugh with him.
10. Drew - my baby brother.  I was in kindergarten when he was born and I adored him from the very start.  He was beautiful as a baby and was such a snuggler - still loves a good back rub and scratch.  He has faced incredible loss and has bravely and boldly faced them head on clinging to God and his wife.  What could have destroyed him, made him stronger and I will always respect and cherish that about him.  
11. Joy - my little sister Baby Joy.  I was 10 when she was born and have been blessed to be close to her.  I am territorial about her and feel a bit motherly, which she doesn't understand at all, but she was the baby not the oldest.  I know I'm not the only oldest child who feels that way about their siblings - it's a Number 1 thing.  Joy fits her name and she definitely brought joy to our family the day she arrived and ever since, she continues to bring joy wherever she goes.  She is a bit fearless and has an I can figure it out attitude.  She is creative and interesting.  She is a great friend and I love our time together.  
12. The Beekman's - I am not their daughter and am probably not the dream daughter in law, but I am thankful for the influence they have had on my life.  They helped shape my sweet Curtis into the man he is and for that I will be forever grateful.  They love my kids and it is a treat each time we get to go to Wisconsin to visit.  They go out of their way to make each of them feel special and important.  The Beekman's have been a family that I am proud to join.
13. Extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins ... but all friends.  I have a great family and in a dream world I would get to see them more regularly.  I love it when we are able to catch up and I can hear stories from the past.  I always leave and wish I'd brought a recorder so I could have all the history available to listen to again.  I have learned so much from them people God chose for my life and can't imagine life without them.  Sometimes I wish I had tons of money so I could bring all these people together for a week and just spend all that time enjoying them and God's blessings on us.  
14. Harmony Bible Church - the place where I was introduced to Jesus and the place that continues to help me grow that relationship.  I have been a Harmonite all my life and wouldn't have it any other way.  I have watched many changes happen, some were easy, some were not, but I have to say they were all part of helping to grow my faith.  I love being in the church my dad served in, even though not many people remember him anymore, I still know he was a part of making that church what it is and am so glad to be a part of the same ministries with my children.
15. MOPS - Harmony Bible Church MOPS saved me.  I don't know where I would be today with the group of women in my MOPS group.  They have gathered around to support me when I needed it, they have laughed with and at me, they have let me be a part of a group when I felt lost and alone.  I'm thankful daily of for all that MOPS has brought into my life
16. Long time friends - I have a few friends who have been cornerstones in my life.  I don't know where I would be without them.  They are people who didn't think twice, but came when Dad died.  I didn't ask them, they were just there, crying with me and reminding me of all that really mattered.  They were there when I thought I'd never marry and were so happy for me when I met Curtis and cheered the day we married and have been rejoicing with me each time we have brought a baby home.  Sometimes we talk often and sometimes it's ages between conversations, but it never really changes.  The love and support is always there.  If I didn't have them where would I be? 
17. New friends - who new you could make real, true, new friends at this time in life.  I thought I was done with that part of my life, but have been given the gift of new true friends.  It's such a blessing.  There is something about doing life together that bonds people and I am getting the opportunity to do that with some great women.  It has been a blessing to just be a part of a group of women who look at life in a similar way and are respectful about differences.  
18. Southeast Iowa - I love this midwestern home of mine.  I find the countryside lovely and the smells funny.  I like that traffic problems involve tractors and farmers instead of careless people.  I like the ever changing weather.  I like the people who wave regardless of knowing you or not.  I love being close enough to get to the city and enjoy all it's benefits, but not having to deal with one daily.  I like the Hawkeyes and don't hate the Cyclones - I just want us to represent our state well.  I like that the expectation is hard work.  I like that my family has been here for generations and that with every introduction comes a genealogy.  
19. My home, I am not in my dream home, and don't know that I ever will be, but this imperfect home is where Curtis and I started our life together, where we brought our babies home to, and where we are building our family.  It has so many flaws and feels small some days, but it is our home.  I know it is just a building and I would happily survive if we lost it somehow, but I am thankful for this place, our place.  The memories it contains are priceless and those who live and visit here are irreplaceable.  I do wish I had more storage :) but I am making do without it.
20. Efficient washer and dryer - I know it's a thing and the most important things in life aren't things ... but I love being able to start and finish washing and drying clothes in the same day.  With my old washer and dryer I would do laundry all week, it took so long to get it dry, but then a new red set moved into my laundry room and changed the day to day look of my life.  Laundry is still a chore, but I no longer dread it.  Now folding it, that's a different thing entirely, I could fold every day, but washing and drying is so much easier now.
21. My van - 2006 Toyota Sienna.  Like so many things it has seen better days and there are newer and better models out there, but I love my van.  I never thought I would be a van person, but gas mileage and storage won me over.  I feel safe as I drive and ride mostly back and forth to the grocery store, school, and church.  I feel grateful because it's paid for.  I feel thankful because so many would love to be driving my old van and I too often take it for granted.  
22. Peanut Butter - what is better than peanut butter?  I have no more words.
23. Diet Pepsi/Coke (whichever is on sale) - please don't preach to me about the harm and hazards of my vice.  I don't do that to you.  I don't drink coffee, I don't smoke, I try to use very few processed foods, so I drink diet brown soda and I don't feel guilty about it.  
24. Music - I love music.  I learn through music, God speaks to me through music, I pray when I sing, I find the right words to my emotions with the right song.  I love listening to music and singing, usually in my kitchen or my car, not really for anyone else just for me and God.  I love that my family loves music to and we get to enjoy it as a family. 
25. Learning - I may be a dumb nerd, but I love going to classes and leaving having learned something new.  I'm not claiming to be a genius or even particularly smart, I just love learning.  I am not learning big things, but things that matter to me and my life.  I love thinking of things in new ways and sharing those things with people I think would like it to.  I get excited about seminars and conferences, I'm weird, I know it, but I'm okay with it.
26. Loss - there are people you never want to loose, but then you do, it's what happens after that I am thankful for.  I have lost loved ones and I would give anything to get them back even for a moment, but knowing that it isn't possible you have to try to go on.  You are never the same, but you have a choice in your turn on a dime moment, bitter or better.  In loss I have learned things I never would have learned in keeping.  I learned to cherish time and let go of little things.  I learned that God is good even when you don't understand.  I learned that people are little glimpses of God's love and grace and that true healing is only accomplished by God, in his time, and only in heaven.  I learned that if we allow God to strengthen, people are stronger than anyone could imagine - you can't make it on your own and come out better at the other end.  When we try to go it alone, bitter is where we end.  Bitter is a waste of your life and a dishonor to those you lost.  
27. Cooking, baking, frying, broiling, roasting, microwaving - anything with me and a recipe in the kitchen.  I like trying a new twist on an old thing.  Curtis laughs annoyedly because I rarely set a timer, how long will it be he asks, oh when it looks and smells done I answer.   I like it when people like what I have made and eat it all.  I don't ever want to run out or have a hungry person at my table.  I like cooking shows, but I wish there were one that showed the season of life I'm in ... a mom trying to make a meal, representing most of the food groups using unprocessed food, trying to figure out a new recipe with all the interruptions that family life represents and success or failure the family eats together and finds nourishment, laughter, and love around the table in their sometimes messier than she would like home.  What do you think?  Anyone going to pick up that show on the cooking channel?
28. Talk Radio - brain food.  The only regular adult and thoughtful interaction I get in my daily life is Moody Radio.  I love talk radio, maybe that stems from being the daughter of a farmer turned truck driver, but I like to hear ideas and conversations.  I love Rush, Dave Ramsey, and so many of the Moody Radio programs, especially Janet Parschal.  I don't always get to watch the news, but I keep up on the happenings in the world through talk radio.  When I left an adult world and came into my home for a career I was longing for some thoughtful interaction and went back to talk radio, something I'd grown up on, but hadn't found the time for being busy most of the peak talk radio times.  I'm so grateful for the things that teach me, fire me up, confirm or challenge my beliefs, and make me laugh.
29. Cardigan sweaters - I'm a nerd I know.  But I really love a cardigan, in fact I wear one most days.  I have one on now.  I carry them with me in the summer - you never know if you will need it.  I wear one almost daily in the winter.  I feel like they are the perfect part of any outfit.  They are great to cover stains on a shirt and you can dress them up or down.  You can even sleep in them.  They are a staple in my wardrobe.  I sometimes feel like I should try to wear other things, but why, a cardigan is classic, simple, and easy.
30. Words - my grandmother told me I have the gift of gab.  She was right.  I think in words, I relate in words, I express every thing in me in words.  I write, I read, I talk, I sing - take away words and I don't know what I would do.  I love reading and am so glad that God made me a word person.  Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to find the right words to explain something, so I just keep trying until I get it write.  Sometimes I don't find them until after you walk away, but eventually in my mind I can let it go because I found the right words.  I am wounded by words and I understand by words.  I love watching my kids develop their words.  Words are part of my existence and finding myself at a loss for words is rare.  Can't you tell, look at how long this blog is!!!  Geesh, no one will read this, but I'm doing it for me not you.  Thank God for giving me the words to express so many things I'm grateful for and to know that I am only just beginning.  

MOPS India Part 2

Last Friday night was the Missional Mamas Open House.  


Joy prepared the table (thankfully - don't know what I would've done without Joy) and I came before we opened up for the evening.  A bit before 4:00 we had a time of prayer with all the other moms and dedicated the event and evening to God and prayed for all those we represented.  Then the doors open and people began to shop.  What an event - I have loved shopping it in the past, but that night I was having an opportunity to interact with the shoppers and telling them about our scarves, where they came from and what they represented.  I was excited to help them find just the right scarf and have a little girl talk.  It was fun.  


These scarves, I LOVED them.  I had looked at a few before we started selling, but each one I opened was a treasure.  We would take it out of the package, open it up, and there it would be; a hidden treasure just waiting to be discovered.  While looking at it you began to see the texture of the fabric and the pattern hidden beneath the design they dyed upon it.  It would peak through and say "look at me, I'm special, there are things about me that you don't notice at first, but they make me different."  Now this may get a little deep, but the scarves began to represent the woman who made each one.  Some were understated, muted, and then just when you thought it was boring - WHAM a glimmer of something would catch your eye and you would say that's incredible I didn't see that at first, but the more I study it the more I like it.  Some were bright, colorful, and full of life, almost too much and then you would see the pattern of something underneath that reveled a depth you almost missed.  It was a blessing to be able to tell the stories of these blessed women through the scarves that they created.  

Around 6, I said to Joy, we don't have too many left on the table, maybe we should get the rest out.  Thinking that we had only put half of the scarves on the table.  She looked at me and smiled with her eyebrow up and giving me a look of amusement that I have come to know through a life of getting this amused look - this is all of them.  I was shocked I couldn't believe how many scarves we had sold.  I had planned on having some left, to be able to sell them to those who couldn't make it, you know either here on my blog or via Facebook.  By the end of the night we had 5 scarves left.  Yep, 5!!  I couldn't believe it 5!!  I kept saying we only have 5 left, I can't believe it, 5!!  (I wish there was a way to capitalize the number 5 maybe that would convey my excitement a bit more.)  Actually, I think that all 5 have been spoken for now, so we totally sold out.  WE SOLD OUT!!  

On the way home, I was spent, emotionally and physically, but my mind it kept on working.  That day in Kansas City, we KNEW we had to do something and we acted, but in the back of my mind and probably Joy's too, was this little doubt.  What will we do if we don't sell any scarves?  I will have teacher gifts for eternity with 100 scarves, you have the Beekman kid, you'll get a scarf for Christmas.  I could be the Oprah of scarves at MOPS "You get a scarf and you get a scarf and you get a scarf ... You all get a scarf!!!!"  Driving to pick up my kids God started speaking into my head and heart, "It was me you heard at MomCon, you could have ignored me and kept going with your life the same way, but you acted and became my hands to the women represented by the 100 scarves.  It was ME, It was ME!!!"  I realized that it wasn't just me and Joy doing a good thing, but it was God working through us to do a God thing.  I know that I didn't save a life or change the world, or even make a huge donation, but I let God work through me to do HIS thing.  That was, really, the best thing I could have done, let God have this little thing to show me a big thing.  

The big thing is still being worked out, this is where I am today.  Not much would have changed if I would have never ventured behind the curtain at MomCon.  I would not have learned about these women or their families.  I would have finished the conference and wondered if I would ever find myself in the position to take a risk and do something.  But I did and God spoke and what I have learned is if you are willing, He will be there in it.  I learned if you will do something, just because you think that God might be putting it in your path on purpose, He will see it through no matter what it looks like at the end.  If you share what you have and are continuing to learn, people will respond and react and those actions are the hand of God.  

I don't know much, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that last Friday night my sister and I were part of a mighty work of God.  He took our small step and said I know you did this for me and so you girls are going to sell out, just to prove that I can use small things to make big change.  

I was able to contact our connection to India on Friday and she sent me some beautiful pictures of the MOPS India ladies.  What a gift to look into their faces and know that we have been a small part of their journey a world away.  I don't think that my journey with these moms is complete, but even if it is, I will always treasure the opportunity I had to sell their scarves and be a small part of their story.  Most importantly I have been able to hear God speak, then act on it, and then to be a part of something miraculous - we sold all our scarves.  We did something and God used it for good in my life, and in the lives of all involved.  Thanks to all of you who allowed this story to impact your life.  Thanks for praying with us and for buying a scarf.  Can't wait to see what God will do next.  

MOPS India

In October I and a group of 12 Harmony MOPS moms went to the MOPS convention aka MomCon for those who haven't been in MOPS for as long as I.  It was an incredible weekend.  Seriously, inspiring, convicting, encouraging, practical, exhausting ... I loved it.  I was able to go with some family, great friends, and some girls who have become great friends.  Being with Joy and Aunt Candy and the other ladies I'm not biologically connected to for 3 days and learning next to them was really a gift and a blessing.

As our weekend was nearing an end Joy and I were finishing up our shopping - they had an amazing resource area full of great stuff - we were in the MOPS area buying pens and other supplies for our group.  While waiting in line and browsing we saw a display of scarves and being Kelly girls were drawn in by the beautiful colors and patterns and the unique qualities each of these scarves had.  No two were alike.  We were looking them over and chatting about them when a lady dressed in a bright red sari came up behind us filming the display on her phone.  She asked if we liked the scarves and we both said yes and seeing the filming going on asked her to tell us about them.  She then said that moms from the new groups of Indian (like India the country - think Slumdog Millionaire) MOPS were making the scarves and she had brought enough scarves to sell so that they would be able to fund a website that would market MOPS India and sell their creations to help support the women in the group and the families they represented.  Wow!  This was the only thing like that in the MOPSshop.    She asked if we would like to take what she had left and sell them and send her the money later.  Wow! again.  We both said we'd love to help, but how would that work.  This is the when the American mentor to this beautiful Indian woman stepped in saying, she thinks that all American's are trustworthy and helpful and would never take advantage - but even though I'm sure you two are very nice, we know that isn't true, can you come back here and we will talk about it a bit more and I'll explain what is going on and help you figure out if you can help or not.  Smart lady.

Now I must add, we wandered in to shop after having just heard Jen Hatmaker talk about doing not just talking about the love of Christ.  Getting involved and getting your hands dirty to help people around the world.  Stop living in your safe bubble and raising your children to be safe and happy and start raising brave disciples of Jesus Christ.  Brave moms have brave kids.  Wow!  Do something, do something, do something.

So to say I was convicted and inspired and trying to digest all that at the very moment we stepped behind the curtain would be an understatement.  I want my kids to be brave and I want to be used by Jesus to help people, I just didn't know how.  I walked into that room not knowing how to help anyone, everyone I know is like me.  Raising safe and happy kids and worrying that I haven't given them enough discipline, opportunities ... you know all that rich in the world, but poor in the work stuff Americans drown in.

Behind the curtain of the MOPSshop i learned of a group of women, so poor and broken in spirit they are without hope and trapped in their situations.  They are in a culture where they are not valued, in fact daughters are a burden.  A baby girl represents half your earnings to be used in a dowry to pay someone to marry her, so a daughter is met with grief and fear for many families.  A son is celebrated and seen as a gift.  This is what is leading to so much sex trafficking and infanticide in India.  The thought of that broke my heart.  I thought of my own daughter and the joy she has been bringing us since the day she was born and my heart was sad that not every little girl is welcomed into her family.    We should all be welcomed, cherished, valued.  This view of girls seems to grow with them and their is very little value of a woman in the culture, she is valued by bringing a dowry, sons, and work into a home, but as a person has little worth.  Enter the woman in the beautiful red sari.

She is very respected and valued in her family and community and as you can probably guess she is not poor but she has a burden for the poor women living around her.  She must have heard Jen Hatmakers message before I did, because she decided to do something.  She met with a group of 80 women, much like her, who wanted change in India and they decided to start MOPS groups in their homes.  In the last six months 80 MOPS groups has grown into 6,000.  Each time a group outgrew the home they met in, about 15 moms, they started a new group.  That is 75,000 women who for the first time are being poured into instead of being taken from.  75,000 women who are finding their value to Jesus.  75,000 moms who are changing their view of themselves and changing their families.  75,000 women who want to do more than meet as a MOPS group, they want to work together to make change in their community and home.  What would you do if you were one of these women?  I'm not sure what I would do, but these women have begun to make scarves.

They are selling these scarves to start a website to market their scarves and maybe other items to sell to support their families and change their family, community, and hopefully culture.  More money means less girls in the sex trade and fewer girls falling victim to infanticide.  Maybe you can guess what happened next ... Joy and I looked at each other and said we are in - we want to help, but first we have a couple calls to make.

We had to see if we could sell the scarves at an open house that a group in our area has each year.  The Missional Mamas are a group of moms who wanted to do something and so they find a variety of goods to sell and send the money raised to support all the different groups who are creating the products.  There is jewelry, tshirts, scarves, clothing, bags, hair accessories ... the list is long, but the causes are great.  Sex trafficking, poverty, dirty water, abused and neglected women and children,  ... there is a world of problems out there, but this group of ladies found a way to do something.  They gladly welcomed our scarves into the mix and encouraged our desire to help.  The next call was a little harder to make, the hubbies.  We needed to put some money in to make it happen, that always requires a bit of discussion since neither of us have unlimited spending.  After Joy and I individually cried on the phones while telling Grant and Curtis the story of the Indian scarves and the women and girls behind them, they both said you need to do it and were willing to back it up with their wallets.  Wow!  We wrote a check and walked out with 100 scarves, feeling a bit crazy, but really excited to be able to get involved.

So here is where you come in, we need to sell these scarves to send the money to the MOPS India group.  We are doing something small, but it is what we can do.  Who knows what God will do with this step, we could sell no scarves or we could sell out.  I just knew that listening to the story, which I've only scratched the surface of sharing here, and looking at Joy we had to do something, and we did.  Do you want to buy a scarf?

It's been awhile ...

I know it's been nearly two and a half years, but I'm going to try to do this blog thing again.  I have been thinking about it a lot in the last six months.  I will be doing something and think I should write about this, and then ... life happens, I put it off, and wham - forget.  So I'll try again.   I could write about my lack of follow through, but I won't go there.  I will just try again.  

I love the process of writing and how it enables me to work through my thoughts, feelings, basically my stuff, so here we go again.  I wrote a bit in the last newsletter/Table Talk for MOPS and it felt so good, I need to keep it going.  God is really at work on some stuff in my heart, and has been for a while, so I guess I'll share it here with my 7 followers :) yep not a famous blogger here, but a woman who occasionally puts her words out into the void (vague movie reference) of the internet with no expectation that anyone will read it, but rather just to help myself find my own voice again.  

Here is what I wrote for our last MOPS.  It was something God has been working on in me.  I am going to finish my thoughts on the theme verse, hopefully you'll see it on this blog :) and probably will share it in the next Table Talk (our MOPS meeting notes/newsletter).

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) - 

This verse has been on my mind since I saw it in our MOPS theme materials last spring.  I remember thinking, I really like that, but masterpiece is that me?  I continue to think, masterpiece, ME?  I’m just a mom, surviving more than thriving the journey to adulthood that I’m now guiding, but still feel like I’m traveling.  In the last few weeks and months God has been working on the masterpiece mindset in me.  I’ve been trying to really digest this verse and what I think God is trying to tell me, although I admit, I’m stuck on the beginning.  (What’s that song, let’s start at the very beginning - a very good place to start …) I finally made it to that duh place, the Bible, isn’t it funny how sometimes you are working through a verse or something someone says and instead of going straight to the source first you try to figure it out on your own.  Rarely does this end well, start at the source. 

Ephesians 2:10 just happens to fall right after Ephesians 2:8-9, you Awana veterans you know this: “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and [h]that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.”  To hear, right after the gift of salvation, that I am God’s masterpiece clicks.  Why is it hard for me to see myself the way God sees me. This took me, somehow, to how I think about my own children, they are getting old enough that they are beginning to be critical of themselves and how they measure up to those around them.  What do I see?  A masterpiece, sure they are flawed and have failures, but I see them through my mom eyes and no matter what else, they are a beautiful masterpiece and those flaws and failures make them unique and special.  That is how God sees me, and you.  We are his children, his masterpiece.  Somewhere in my heart I heard God whisper, My grace through Jesus removed the mess, so I can see you, my masterpiece.

MomCon was an incredible time for me, some things God has been working on in me are starting to come together.  There were so many messages that I’ve been finding all over my life in the last months, I may finally be getting it.  There was a song that was repeated over and over and instead of getting sick of it, I GOT it.  “You make beautiful things,You make beautiful things out of the dust, You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us, You make me new, You are making me new, You make me new, You are making me new.”  A message God has been working on in me, somewhere in that song it came singing out of my heart, “even me, You made a beautiful thing out of even me”.  In order for me to hear the other messages He had for me, I had to get to the place where I realize and embraced that I can be His Masterpiece. - Rebekah’s Rambling …