Well, this week I have been getting a bit of a hard time from my family. They have called it "the week of Michael", as if that is a bad thing :). All because each day for the past week I have asked Michael what it is that he would want to do before he started kindergarten. The list has been varied. Play checkers, go to the pool, make chocolate chip cookie pie . . . it has been a good week. All leading up to tomorrow, the start of kindergarten.
So here on the eve of beginning life as a school mom I am full of insecurity, excitement, hope, worry . . . name the emotion it is in me NOW!! Where has the time gone? How can he be 5?
We have been talking a lot about what to expect, how to act, but even though he feels excited and full of anticipation, I have evidently not been listening to my own pep talks. I'm thinking about how much I will miss of his life. I'm wondering if I have done the mom thing well enough to send him off well into a whole new life. So tonight when he told me that I didn't need him to walk him into the school tomorrow, I was both sad and happy. Happy that he feels so ready, but sad that so quickly he is independent and doesn't need me. We did decide that I would walk him in tomorrow and leave right away and then we would see how Tuesday would go. Good plan right? We talked about hugs and kisses before, not at the school.
I know that what I told him is true. This is an important step on his journey to who God wants him to be. This is where we begin to figure out what God has planned for his life. This is just the beginning. Why is that so easy to say, know it is true, and yet is so hard to embrace. I could go on about why I am blue and what I have said to him, but really said to me, but I am going to stop myself . . . HERE!
Now the plan for tomorrow. Up in plenty of time to pray, get myself ready and then get my kindergartner going. For him, shower, pancakes, pray, into the van (I know I am close enough to walk, but I want to be in the privacy of my van for the crying, not walking down the sidewalk making a scene) hug and kiss, then walk to the classroom and leave him there excited and curious as to what the day will bring. I will then return to my van, cry for a bit, head to a mom date with great friends at Olde World for some commiserating (may cry a bit more - but hoping to keep the tears to a minimum, no guarantees) then off for a walk with Sally, her Maddy, and my Adah, return home make banana bread for an after school snack, then return to the school to pick up my boy. Hopefully he is still excited. Return home and hear all about his day over his favorite snack. Good plan right?
So glad we were able to take this last week to focus on the great things about summer and family. HOORAY for the week of Michael. I think it maybe become a tradition. Not always the week of Michael, Adah may not like that when it is her turn to go to school. Oh brother, not ready to deal with that yet, so forget I said that.
The exciting thing about Michael going to school is that Adah and I will get to be together all day, just us girls. Some solid time to learn all about the daughter God blessed me with. I love the prospect of that!! We haven't had much time just us girls, so this is an awesome opportunity to figure out some of those things that are easy to miss when there is more than one person competing for your attention. I think that she will miss Michael, but we will find our rhythm. Such a blessing hidden within a change and the sadness that change brings. But isn't that one of the things God does best?
Here is what I have been praying with Michael and a verse I love when things are unknown: Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Isn't that a great way to send your favorite boy to kindergarten?
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