Bedtime

Okay, so it is 1:30, again.  Why do I always see the a.m. come across my clock?  I would like to be one of those early to bed early to rise people.  BUT, I am not. 

The house is quiet.  I procrastinated.  In my rush to finish and get to bed before the a.m. I have seen both of my sweet children.  Which only prolongs the length it takes to get anything done.  They seem to have a special alarm that triggers when mom is in a time crunch. 

BING!!! Now is the perfect time to have a nightmare, Mom is trying to get stuff done and would love the chance to hold me. 

Actually, it usually does happen at just the right time.  It really gives me the opportunity to evaluate where I am at with things.  What is important?  How much do I really NEED to do this?  How long will it take to get it done?  What can I not do and still be done?  All those things that in the business of finishing stuff up, I loose sight of.  Funny how you see the big picture after midnight.

Also funny, how my husband does not hear a child crying across the hall, but I can hear the same cry down the stairs on the opposite side of the house at my computer or cleaning the kitchen.  Men.  Gotta love them. 

Adah's Eyes

What a blessing to go to a doctor for a check up and find that instead of the worst case being our reality, it was the best case.  Thanks you God.  What a blessing. 

Just to catch you up on Adah's eyes, here is the story from the beginning.  About a year ago the Lion's Club came to MOPS and took pictures of the kid's eyes.  They send these pictures to the University of Iowa and they study the pictures and can find certain eye problems just from the picture.  Crazy I know, something about how the flash reflects in the pupil/retna. So, Adah's came back with a recommendation to see a doctor, they had detected a possible astigmatism and far-sightedness.  Smart people.  Amazing. 

Here is a little back story to the Lion's Club, when they contacted our MOPS group about coming for this vision screening, I, being on the steering team said, do these things ever come back that there is a problem?  I mean is this really something we need to do?  When I got the notice in the mail, I was a bit worried but glad that we had done it.  A God thing, don't you think?

We took her to my eye doctor, who has little experience with children, much less infants, Adah was nearly one.  After several frustrating visits, some of my great mom friends on the steering team with me suggested that I call the University of Iowa and get an appointment with them, they have a nationally known opthamology department.  Amazingly, they were able to squeeze us in that next week, which I now know was a God thing, it normally takes months to get an appointment.  We went for our first visit in June, the day after her 1st birthday.  They did a thorough exam, I was amazed at the difference when you go to a doctor who specializes in children.  She does have an astigmatism and was at the high end of normal for her farsightedness, but at that time glasses weren't needed.

Jump ahead to early January.  Suddenly we began to notice that her eye was crossing, this is one of the warning signs that something had changed in her vision, so we called the U immediately.  It was a two month wait to get in to see them.  Her eye continued to cross and it was hard to wait, when you feel like something needs to happen now.  Just wait 'til Obama care hits. 

Finally it was March 1 and we went to our appointment, 2 hours later with dialated eyes we find that her farsightedness has increased dramatically which is causing the crossing.  Basically when she wants to see something she has to focus really hard to see it, then her eye crosses, and then her brain shuts that eye off.  The more she focuses the more she crosses and the more likely it will be that her brain will just decide not to use that eye.  Scary, I know.  The first step is glasses to determine if it is just the farsightedness or something more, then patching, then finally eye surgery.  We left that appointment praying that the glasses would come in quickly, do you know how hard it is to find infant glasses and someone who actually knows how to fit them?  Neither did I, but I do now.  We were also praying that the glasses would do the trick and there would not be a next to worry about. 

Today we went for our check up and our prayers were answered.  Adah's eyes are doing well, she had the best case scenario.  What a blessing, the glasses are working.  We go back in September to check them again.  But, until then we are so thankful for the discovery of her eye issues and the ability to help her with them.  She likes her glasses, keeps them on pretty well, we are on our second pair, broken after 32 days, but she knows they help her see.  Which has made her a much happier girl.  I can't help but wonder, what she would be like if this hadn't been found so early in her life and how many times we will have to replace her glasses before September. 

Sorry for any spelling errors, I can't seem to find the spell check. 

Happy Valentine's Day

I am waiting for the oil to get hot enough to fry up these heart shaped donuts for tomorrow. 

I love Valentines Day.  It is giving me the opportunity to use up some of the red frosting that is left over from that Mack cake I made for Michael's birthday.  :)

That isn't the only reason, but right now clearing out the fridge is looking like a great goal for the week.  I don't think I have been able to just put stuff away in there since Christmas.  It is all of this juggling - I hate that. 

No deep thoughts, but just thought I should update since I have the time, I mean really how much time can you devote to looking at Facebook.  :)  Too MUCH!!

So here are some cute and funny things happening around here.  Michael is terrible at secrets, I hope that remains true about him until he has graduated from college.  Today he came upstairs to tell me what he did when he went with Daddy and Adah uptown.  He describe the card he picked out in detail and told me I would really like it, because it was so cute.  Funny.  Last night he called the Northwestern Wildcats, the wild west cats.  Adah won't call him by name, but just calls him brother all the time.  She is constantly wanting a "NACK" (snack in kid speak).  She seems to have stopped calling Curtis "nunny", which I couldn't figure out for the longest time, because she says Daddy too.  Then I heard it right after I had called for him, it is Honey.  Too cute.  I hope she will pick it up again, it made me smile every time.

We went shopping yesterday and I was totally pumped about my purchases.  I take $50 for each child out when winter and summer clothes hit the clearance, to buy ahead for next year.  I spent it all in one store at one time.  I called Curtis to tell him about my deals, and all he could say was you spent it all . . . today . . . in one store . . . Proudly I said YES, but I am now DONE!!!  I should tell you Curtis's theory and in that explain the vast difference between us. He says that men see the number, you spent how much, but women see the savings, by spending this much today I saved hundreds of dollars. Isn't that true? He sees the number I see the deal. Let me tell you what my $101.03 bought.  For Michael: 6 school pants, 2 dress pants, 4 t-shirts, 2 sweatshirts, 2 dress up shirts, 1 sweater, 2 pajamas, 1 pair black dress shoes.  For Adah: 1 coat, 1 hat, 2 dresses, 3 pants, 4 tops, 1 sweater, 2 tights, 1 pair socks, 7 pajamas.  (I didn't realize that I had bought 7 pj's for her, until after, but they were only $1.99 each and I had a 15% off coupon - maybe I can give some away, who doesn't love nice pj's, they don't have to know that they were only $1.70)  Isn't that a lot for the money.  We are looking at the mountain of grow into clothes on the ottoman right now.  I need to get them all tucked away, but I haven't gotten to it yet.  Too many other projects today.


Speaking of other projects I should finish those donuts and get my house tidied up so it isn't too embarrasing when the sitter comes tomorrow so my sweet Curty, my Valentine and I can go out on our date.  I bet he orders some kind of seafood.  Love that man. 

Have a great Valentines Day and make sure that the ones you love know your love and find it in everything.  Do something, say something, find the way that they will best experience your love and do it.  Time is short, tomorrow is not guaranteed, but you have this moment.  Make it count.  (I do get philosphical after midnight.)

Michael is 5

I know it has been forever.  I didn't know how long until I opened this up to write tonight.  August seems long ago, but wasn't it last week?

Today was my first day with a 5 year old.  I know that many cheer about a child progressing in age, but I am not one of those people.  Don't get me wrong I want him to grow into a loving, productive, mature man - I just want to hang on to the moments that I have with him now when he is a boy.  My boy. 

I know it is silly, but there is just a difference in my mind between four and five.  When you are four, you are still a toddler, nearly all your needs are met by your family, you haven't figured out what "cool" is yet - you may say "cool" but you don't get it and your mind has not yet been warped by the seeking of "cool".  At five, you are a boy.  Your independence grows.  Kindergarten is in the near future and with that is the beginning of looking to others to find your identity.  "Cool" now has a definition and a voice.  Your mom rarely qualifies as "cool" no matter what shoes she wears. 

There is such a short amount of time to try to impress on a child what is important and what is not, that on days like this, the day it takes all the fingers on one hand to show his age, you wonder if you have done anything right.  Have you done enough to prepare him for what lies ahead?  There are more questions than answers.  Then the Awana verses come back to you like waves to encourage. 

Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Matthew 6:34 do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  (my Aunt Karen, told me to embroider this on a pillow - love that)

In short: I have loved the first 5 years of his life and can't wait to see what the future brings.  I know that life is precious and want to make sure that I am not a life waster, but a savorer (is that a word? - If not, it should be).  As I cling to his childhood, I am really trying to force myself to really prepare him for what is to come, but feel that the time is short.  In his short life, he never knew my father, but has welcomed a new grandfather.  He has lost a cousin, but has gained seven.  He has had 3 x-rays and 2 CT scans, but has great health.  He has gone from being the center of our home, to sharing and loving his sister.  He has gone from dreading kindergarten and declaring that he just won't go, tolooking forward to it and talking about it daily.   There is a lot that he has experienced already, but so much more to come.  Won't it be fun to watch as he discovers who he is and what God has planned for him?  I want to look at what comes next with excitement, yet cherish the moments that we have already shared.  Will that constant activity and inquiry slow down, or will this be the driving force of his personality and purpose?  I can't wait to see where life takes him, and me as I grow with him. 

Lord, Thank you for chosing Michael for me before the beginning of time.  Thank you for teaching me through a child, things that I haven't been able to learn on my own.  Thank you for trusting me to be a mother and through you try to grow these children into who You want them to be.  Please help me as I screw up more than I get it right, use it all for Your good and Your purpose.  Help me to teach them to be gentle but not weak, strong but not mean, confident but not arrogant, generous but not wasteful, and always loving quick to share love, accept love, and speak love.

We made it

So, wedding dress shopping was really fun.

I know your wedding is a big day, but do I know anyone who really spent $2,000 on a wedding dress? We put Joy in some expensive dresses, for fun, they were really pretty, but seriously $2,000?!?!? Maybe I am just too practical - not sure that is true, but I am tooo something to spend that kind of cash for 1 day. Maybe if I had it to spend that would make a difference, but I'm not sure that it would.

We had a great day. We hit 2 shops and had Joy try on probably 25+ dresses. It was a successful day, because a decision was in fact made. There were many laughs, in fact there were a few leg crossing laughs. (Those of you who haven't had a baby yet may not understand, but many of you know exactly what I am talking about. Sarah says she doesn't, but is serious about her kegels - don't know if that is common knowledge, but I guess it is now. Love you Sarah!!) You know those days when you just laugh a lot, but either can't remember why or shouldn't retell the story, that is the kind of day it was. What fun.

Thanks Joy, for including me in this day. I am proud to be your big sister and am so proud that you are excited about your wedding, but more excited about your marriage. You haven't lost your perspective about what this day represents and why it is important to celebrate a wedding, but even more important to launch a marriage well. I look forward to being a part of this blessed event and am so glad for all the circumstances that led you to this place at this time. How exciting to look ahead and imagine what God has to hold for you and your Honey.

I'm just going to end this by saying "Pip-squeak" and see if Mom will tell the rest of the story.

Love you, my favorite girls and shopping companions.

Wedding Dress Shopping - weird

On the cusp (don't you love when you can show off a college education) of wedding dress shopping with my little sister, I am feeling a little weird.

Weird because she was supposed to stay little. She was the surprise ending of my siblings, and what a blessing. I remember when Mom and Dad told us that they were having another baby, after having 4 you just assume your parents are done. It was funny, because Dad said that there was a special surprise coming to our family after Christmas and that it came in a sack. GROSS!! Just tell us that Mom is having a baby, don't go into detail Dad. I was 9 when that announcement was made and 10 when Joy Kathleen arrived. Once she was born I remember talking to mom about what we would do without her and how we felt like our family was complete before she came, but it wasn't. For those of you that don't believe I can remember these conversations, I can. Mom and I talked in the big grey van after going to Pizza Hut in Mt. Pleasant, which was rare for us. We had taken back all the pop cans that day and were able to go out to dinner on the proceeds, now that is a lot of pop cans. It was Saturday night and the boys were bouncing around in the back, Sarah was sleeping, and Dad had gone into the gas station to pay, I was sitting next to Joy and talking to Mom in the front seat. Crazy the things you remember.

So tomorrow, I get to go with this little girl, who is now all grown up and mushy in love with a great guy, Grant. (oooh, fancy words and alliteration, I must be tired to pull all this off) WEIRD!! What fun it will be to go wedding dress shopping. Mom, Sarah, and I will be a great audience, and Joy will beam with delight. The laughter will make people look and the conversations should be recorded. We will tell stories, talk about random weird things that only we get, because of the context that only we know. You know what I mean, sister stuff.

We will miss Dad, not that he would have come, but because we always miss Dad.

So, who will cry first? Who will pick out the ugliest dress? Who will get honked off by the rude clerk and talk not to them, but loudly enough for them to hear? I may never tell, unless it is just the funniest story that must be told. I can tell you this that this will be a blessed day, and one that will have at least one lingering trip to Starbucks, cause that's how we roll. (There's that college education again.)

I love Joy and am honored to be a part of the process in welcoming Grant into our family and celebrating a marriage that will give our final Kelly girl a "B" last name. How weird is that? Thanks for letting me come Joy. With all the opinions, ideas, bossiness, and the rest of the things you hate to love about me.

See you at noon!!

Camp

Here I sit at camp, on a computer. I know, I know . . .

I love East Iowa Bible Camp. There are a few places in the world, where as you drive closer you feel like a kid again, getting so excited to be there and comfortable with where you are heading as you pull in the drive way it is like coming home. Camp is one of those for me, well maybe it is the one, other than where I grew up. I love being here and I love that my family loves being here. I remember when I brought Curtis up here the first time, he didn't know what to expect, and asked if this was going to have to be our vacation every year. I don't think I said yes, but I was hopeful that he would fall in love with camp and all that it represents and he did.

My dad loved camp and wanted our family to value what it meant to him. He had two main things that he worked to keep the main things, God and family. If you can keep those two things in focus, everything else will work itself out. Camp is a break from the reality of the everyday, it is a shelter from the storm. It is a place to go and recharge your battery and reconnect with all that is important in life, God and family. Thanks Dad, I hope that your two main things are mine as well.

At camp you will hear great stories of where and how God is at work in lives and communities. You get a bigger picture of the world, and the important message of it's not about YOU, it's about how HE can use you. You see all the ways that God uses people here, both in big and small ways. Do you have any idea how many people have come through this camp and chosen to do God's work? Neither do I (I bet you were expecting some stats), but I will tell you that most of my camp friends have chosen to allow God to work through their lives, some have chosen missions and are working in foreign countries, others are working in churches all over this country, and many others are actively involved in their local church and its ministries. What an honor to have learned the message of EIBC as a child, "To know Christ and to make Him known" and let that become the song in your heart and message of your life. Thank you East Iowa, for bringing me in contact with exciting and inspiring missionaries and for challenging me with interesting and applicable Bible teaching. I leave camp with a desire to be used by the God I say I serve in a better, more complete way, so that it isn't just what I say, it is who I am.

I love coming to camp with my family, I have been coming since I was very young. It has been "vacation" for most of my life. As a child, we looked forward to this week all year. We had friends that were our camp friends and of course a crush or two along the way, but it was just a great time to get away together. It was so fun to play together (I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters) with differnt stuff in different ways. We loved the pool, the pond, Bible drills in chapel, and competing with and against each other in the great relay races. As we got older we began to hang out with other kids and then the fun of mutual secrets began. It was the one time a year when it felt like the weight of the world was off my dad, I see that now much more than I did then. He would truly relax at camp. The Mike laugh would ring out through Kid Run Valley, his stories were better around the camp fire, and he loved the people he met and only saw here. He loved the friends from home that still come here each year and the relationship that is built through camp. They are the thick and thin friends. There were great times of sitting, just talking together, and I always loved watching him with my mom. One of the hardest things after his death was returning to camp, less than a month later. We knew that some of our camp friends wouldn't know and would be looking for him, not having him here was hard then, and I still feel his absence now. Oh the fun he would have with the grandchildren that are here this week, there are eight here.

Now, I am the mom and I love having my kids at camp. They are getting some of the same experiences that I cherish so much and building those lasting friendships. There is just something about someone who knew you when you were so young and cute and stuck with you even when you weren't and now they are watching my children be young and cute. (Surely my kids won't go through that un-cute phase.) I am relaxed here, I trust the people and the camp. I allow my children a freedom that they don't often have anywhere else. Camp to me is a safe place and my children love it here. Michael has been asking when we are coming for months now, and will be sad to leave on Saturday morning.

There is just enough structure that it is not a free for all and enough freedom that you can take your time and do all the fun things. There are enough simple activities that you will crave fun for fun's sake when you get home and realize how much we over schedule and over plan and over stuff our lives. You know what? Camp doesn't need jet ski's and ropes courses, just creativity and a willingness to continually find the fun in life and pursue the simple and best things in life. God and family.

Wow, all this to say, I love camp and am so glad to be back again this year and pray that I will be able to return again next summer. Long live East Iowa Bible Camp!!