Shaelynn's Article

Here is an article I wrote to promote two benefits that were held in our little town.  It explains a bit more of Shaelynn's story.  

February 15, 2007, the day after Valentine’s Day.  To most this was a normal Thursday, but to Andrew and Samantha Kelly this was the day that their life was turned upside down.  This was the day that they had to rush their precious 15 month old daughter Shaelynn to Henry County Health Center.  

Shaelynn Sue Kelly was born on November 2, 2005 to Andrew and Samantha (Stanley) Kelly of New London, Iowa.  She was a beautiful baby and looked exactly how a baby should, pink and round with all her fingers and toes.  She instantly stole her father’s heart and in a smile captivated her mother’s soul.  She passed all the normal milestones in life with gusto and with each day her personality developed.   Shaelynn is a girl who knows what she wants and stubbornly finds a way to get it.  She isn’t quick to smile, but shares them generously when she is delighted with her surroundings.  Shaelynn seems to approach life with a cautious optimism that makes those close to her watch with enthusiasm and amusement.  To say that this girl is loved is an understatement; she is completely adored without abandon by her extended family Jeff and Carol (Stanley) Lair and Julie Kelly grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and countless friends.  

On February 14 Shaelynn took a small tumble, not unusual to any one year old, but this time she didn’t seem to bounce back like all the other times before.  She slept more that afternoon than normal and seemed extra clingy to her mother.  Shaelynn continued to be lethargic through the next day and the doctor told Drew and Samantha that she should be taken to the emergency room to be checked out just to make sure that all was okay.  There was no expectation that it would be any more than this.  However, after a CT scan, it was revealed that Shaelynn had a mass in her brain that had been aggravated by her fall.  This mass had been there a while, but was in an unformed part of her brain so no symptoms were found.  A quick 22 minute helicopter ride to University Hospitals in Iowa City was next.  This was only the beginning of Shaelynn’s journey.  

The doctors were hopeful that the mass was not cancer, but on Monday February 19 after brain surgery it was found to be malignant, which means cancer for those of you fortunate enough to not have been impacted by this disease.  The following Wednesday a central line port was placed in her chest and chemo therapy began.  Chemo for a small child takes a long time to give, for Shaelynn it is a five day process.  She struggled with the treatment and everything that went with it and was not released from the hospital until Friday March 2.  Due to a fever the Kelly family returned to the University Hospitals on Saturday the 3^rd and did not return home to New London again until March 7.  Thankfully Shaelynn was strong and healthy enough to remain at home until her next chemo treatment March 14.  This treatment was much easier on her little body and everything went according to schedule and the family returned home on March 17.  Shaelynn is home in New London awaiting her third treatment which is scheduled to begin on April 3.  She is doing well, but is highly susceptible to infection due to her low white blood count, a common side effect to her treatment.  

Peach fuzz has replaced her blonde hair and she has grown accustomed to being poked and attached to cords, but Shaelynn has the same smile and spirit.  She is using her stubborn nature to show all who know her how to move bravely forward in the face of unthinkable circumstances.  She continues to play, laugh, and enjoy her life as well as bringing delight to her parents.  Andrew and Samantha have allowed Shaelynn to have peace in this battle as they refuse to give up.  They are boldly looking at brain cancer as an obstacle to overcome and are not drowning in sorrow over the unanswerable question of “why”.  They are doing what they do best loving their child and stepping out in faith.  They are an example of courage under fire and are facing this struggle head on without feeling sorry for themselves or anger with God.  Drew and Sam believe that this is part of a bigger story.  It is occupying their lives right now, but is not the end.  There is more to life than a battle with cancer.  They are both determined to see Shaelynn grow up and go through all the same struggles and victories of every other child.  They believe in the power of prayer and the love of God to see them through whatever comes their way.  The Kelly family is clinging to a chapter in the Bible for strength, Psalm 77 you will understand why when you read it.  You will find their hope in verse 11, I shall remember the deeds of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old 12 I will meditate on all Your work and muse on your deeds 13 your way, O God is holy; what god is great like our God.

There are two benefits being held to help offset the expenses incurred when a child is sick.  Please come and join those who want to show their support for Shaelynn and her family.  The first benefit is a family friendly event at Clark Elementary School in New London, Iowa on Saturday April 14.  The doors will open at 4:00 P.M.  A donation will get you a great spaghetti dinner and dessert.  There will be a live auction at 7:00 by Jerry Jones of Sullivan Auctions and a silent auction throughout the evening.  There will be games and activities for children from ages 2-12.  The second benefit is on Saturday April 28.  There will be a poker run from 11:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. (sign in at 10:00 a.m. at the VFW in New London) followed by a hog roast from 2:00 - 6:00.  There will also be a live auction at 3:00 by Richard Realty and Auction, the evening will wrap up with entertainment beginning at 6:00 by Just Push Play.  There will also be raffles throughout the afternoon; tickets can be purchased at the VFW, 367-5009 or 367-5508.   

The Kelly’s would like to thank all that have supported them throughout this unexpected journey; their family both immediate and extended, the Harmony Bible Church family, great friends, caring strangers, and especially their employers at Hawkeye Group Inc. in Mediapolis and Henry County Health Center in Mount Pleasant, who have allowed them to be Shaelynn whenever she has needed them.  Without the prayers and support of these faithful people this daunting journey would seem impassable, but with God’s grace there is hope.

February 19th

As we creep up on the 19th of February, I always go back in time to when Michael was an only child.  Life was simpler.  My family was growing, the dream of Adah was beginning to form and I had 2 nieces and a nephew within a year and a half.  We were adjusting to Dad being gone, and then WHAM another dime moment.  (When life turns on a dime - don't know that I am the originator of this phrase, but I do use it like it's my own, it just seems to describe those life changing moments perfectly.)

February 19th, 2007 we found out my sweet 15 month old niece Shaelynn had brain cancer and was beginning to battle for her future and my baby brother Drew, was forced into bravely growing up and dealing with the unthinkable.  I watched and tried to help as Drew and Samantha fought to keep their sweet girl and wondered how they could keep going.

February 19, 2008 the dreaded call came Shaelynn's healing had come, but not in the way we wanted, in the only complete way it could, through the end of this life and the beginning of her eternal life.

Never will February 19th be the same, it will always be Shaelynn's day.  I will never be the same and I was just an aunt.  I still think of her every day.  Michael still talks about her and we wonder what she would be like today.  Oh, how I wish things would have turned out differently.  I imagine that smile and big brown eyes and selfishly wish that we had more time ...

I have learned that I can believe that God is good and wants the best for  us, even when I don't understand His plan, His purpose, or His process.  I have watched Drew and Sam grow closer and stronger after dealing with too many unspeakable losses.  They have continued to show grace and joy, even when the questions are so big and all consuming.  They have faith that many claim to have, but is never tested.  I admire their strength and courage and will always be grateful to have been able to witness true love.  Cancer still sucks and I still don't get it, but I know that my sweet niece is in heaven and is perfectly healed, someday I will know what perfect healing is and I will once again hear that little laugh and know that I am really in heaven.  Until then, February 19 is her day and I will miss her.

9

Well, it's official now, he's 9.

My Michael is 9.

The day he was born I changed.  I don't know what happened or what delivered when he did, but my priorities shifted.  I suddenly had more patience.  I found myself focused on moments rather than years.  I realized that time is a gift and I knew I wanted to take my time and enjoy every moment with this little nameless baby boy Beekman.

We named him on the 23rd after both our fathers.

Michael has grown from a little boy to a big boy.  His looks have matured, he is getting so tall.  He longs to be more grown up than he is.  I am blessed to be his mom.  He is not a perfect boy, but he has so many good qualities I can't come close to listing them all.  I am going to take this opportunity on his ninth birthday to write down nine of my favorite things about him as I have had the gift of time to watch him grow.

1. He's faith filled and hopefully that will grown into faithful
2. He's playful and boyish hopefully 
3. He's kind 
4. He's generous 
5. He's a great brother
6. He's thoughtful, 
7. He's a lover of fun
8. He's interesting
9. He's snugly 

He is truly a gift.  I hope that I will cherish the rest of his childhood as much as I have the first nine years.  It's a weird thing to be almost half-way to adulthood.  How is that possible?!?

What will change in the next nine years.

A LOT!!  I know.

Hopefully I will still be able to find the good and see the possibilities in him.  I pray I will cherish the next stage of life more than I have this one.  I pray that God's plan will be revealed to my son and that I will be a part of that plan as a support and encouragement, but most of all as a mother who is willing to let him go and do the work that God has purposed his life for.  Nothing would be worse than to be seen as a hindrance to his doing God's work.  Which means, although I want to hold him tightly I have to hold him loosely and teach him to hold tightly to God.

Is this the most difficult part of motherhood?  I think so.

Laundry and spanks ...

This is a goofy one, but it really is what is on my mind.  I was going to make it my fb status, but it would be too long.

I have so much laundry to do.  It's overflowing from baskets and laying on the floor.  It's, thankfully, not stinky, but staring at me when I do anything that is not laundry related.  It's peering into the back of my head and following me around, I know it doesn't have eyes, but it feels like it does.  Haunting me.  I can hear it calling to me - aren't you missing your favorite panties ... Gideon's been asking for his Packer shirt ... Michael will run out of pants soon ... it's like a song that gets stuck in your head like "Stacy's mom has got it going on ..." that is all I know of that song, but they put it on that stupid commercial and then I'm avoiding laundry, blogging, and singing "Stacy's mom has got it going on".  I don't even know Stacy ... we maybe I do know a Stacy or two, but I've never thought of their mom's like that.  RAMBLING!!!

Last night I was talking to my good friends about what my laundry basket was like and I said it was like me in spanks - a little less lumpy, but still bulging and overflowing.  This morning while in the bathroom, I saw it again and it all came back to me and made we laugh again.  I thought, I'd share a picture, and maybe it would bring some laughs to my job security.  I hope your imagination doesn't go to me in spanks but rather relates to the constant nature of laundry and life as a mom.

Trying to find joy and humor in the little things, here in my little snow covered town.  Love to all my fellow laundry battlers and of course to Stacy's mom!!

Thanksgiving ...

It's a long one and late :) due to some computing and timing issues - nothing major, just not the way I'd planned.  I started it last week, before thanksgiving.

I love Thanksgiving!!  It seems like the only holiday that is truly what it says it is: a day to be thankful.  For us, it seems like it's the one holiday that is pretty relaxed and about God, family, and country.  (Is there a normal order for that?  Seems like I have it wrong, but it's the order that works best for me, and since I'm writing this I get to pick.)  I love the hospitality of having a big shindig and going all out for family, friends, and those you find who need someone to act as family and friend.  I've never hosted, so maybe my mind would be changed if it was ever my house opened up, but I would if mom gave it up or the Beekman's wanted to travel here.  I love taking some time to speak your thanks to those you are most thankful for.  I love hanging out and watching football, playing games, and chatting.  I love going home exhilarated and exhausted from spending the day talking, eating, playing, watching, laughing, eating, and all the other things you rarely take time out to do.  Why do we only have these awesome days a couple times a year?

I have loved reading my friends daily gratitude's on Facebook and meant to do it, but I forgot about it until 3 days in and then thought, I'll catch up tomorrow.  Guess what, I forgot again and put it off again, and then WHAM!! it's the 20somethingth, and then it's too late and seemed weird to try to catch up then, soooo ... I'll just do it here.

1. I'm so thankful for the grace of God.  It has pulled me through too many times to count.  It is only through Gods grace that I have any of my blessings and have been rescued from my mistakes and escaped the consequences I so deserve.  I can see God's grace in each aspect of my life and hope thatno matter what I go through I can see His grace, but I have learned that you can only find it when you are willing to look.
2. Curtis - he showed up in my life just when I thought it was time to give up finding the right guy  and WHAM everything changed.  He encourages me to be my best, but has loved me at my worst.  We have celebrated the greatest blessings in life together and mourned great losses.  What would life be without him, I hope I never have to find out.
3. Michael - my firstborn, he is an introspective and thoughtful boy.  He makes me laugh and has surprised me with his thoughts and ideas about so many things in the world.  He still snuggles with me and I am clinging to his boyishness, knowing that too soon it will be gone.
4. Adah Kay - my pixie girl.  She has a secret delight in her eyes most of the time.  She is a twirling, sparkly, mud puddle lover.  She is a little girl and loves it.  She is chatty and fun loving, loves learning new things and would live nothing more than just tell you what she thinks and how it should be done.  She has insights abou the wonder of God and helps us all join her in that wonder and brings us back to what matters most.
5. Gideon - my formerly Chibalicious toddler boy.  He has a contagious smile.  He is the reason we are building a fence.  He has a pull to be outside, it's nearly magnetic, boundaries are good for him, he likes to push them a bit.  Each day he is learning and loves to play.  What would I do without the boy who asks questions and taught me that control was an illusion?
6. Dad - he was taken from us before we were ready, but really, when would I have been ready to lose him?  He taught me so many things as I grew up and even after he was gone.  I miss him daily and wish my children would have know Grandpa Mike.  God knew what was best for him and I know he hasn't been lonely in heaven.  I look around and see others with their dads and sometimes I get a bit jealous, but then I think, would I trade my dad for any other dad and the answer is always no.  I had my dad for 29 years and knew without question that he loved me and our family, he loved and served God and many others, and I lost him suddenly but without the struggle that sometimes is there when a relationship has been fractured.  He was not perfect,for sure, I could write about his imperfections, but he was the man chosen to be my dad and I wouldn't trade him for a dad that would live until I'm an old lady.  
7. Mom - a woman who is stronger than she knows.  She taught me to love my kids and roll with it.  She allowed me to be who I was and listened, a lot, and still does.  My mom has faced many losses, disappointments, and her faith has remained strong.  She believes that God is good and has a plan, even when times are hard and family is important even when they drive you crazy.  She laughs a lot, works and plays hard, teaches as she goes, expects your best, and shows love and grace to everyone she meets.  (Well, most everyone - we do have a few stories of her frustrations showing, but they are all funny and not disrespectful - honestly, they cracking me up just thinking of them now.)
8. Sarah - my sister and my friend.  She has know me most of my life and knows my secrets and can tell when I'm not telling the whole story.  She is generous and is growing more and more confident with each year.  She still surprises me.  I wish she lived next door.  I could talk to her everyday.  
9. Tim - my brother in Wisconsin.  I don't see or talk to him enough.  I'm proud to be his sister.   Freckle faced and fair strawberry blondes - with him I fit.  In our family we looked different than our dark haired, dark eyed siblings, but that was fun.  I've always been a fan of his and continue to root for him and proudly tell people I'm his sister.  I love that our oldest boys are only 6 weeks apart and love each other and have such fun together.  Tim has always been more than a brother, he's my friend and I cherish any time I get to sit, talk, and laugh with him.
10. Drew - my baby brother.  I was in kindergarten when he was born and I adored him from the very start.  He was beautiful as a baby and was such a snuggler - still loves a good back rub and scratch.  He has faced incredible loss and has bravely and boldly faced them head on clinging to God and his wife.  What could have destroyed him, made him stronger and I will always respect and cherish that about him.  
11. Joy - my little sister Baby Joy.  I was 10 when she was born and have been blessed to be close to her.  I am territorial about her and feel a bit motherly, which she doesn't understand at all, but she was the baby not the oldest.  I know I'm not the only oldest child who feels that way about their siblings - it's a Number 1 thing.  Joy fits her name and she definitely brought joy to our family the day she arrived and ever since, she continues to bring joy wherever she goes.  She is a bit fearless and has an I can figure it out attitude.  She is creative and interesting.  She is a great friend and I love our time together.  
12. The Beekman's - I am not their daughter and am probably not the dream daughter in law, but I am thankful for the influence they have had on my life.  They helped shape my sweet Curtis into the man he is and for that I will be forever grateful.  They love my kids and it is a treat each time we get to go to Wisconsin to visit.  They go out of their way to make each of them feel special and important.  The Beekman's have been a family that I am proud to join.
13. Extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins ... but all friends.  I have a great family and in a dream world I would get to see them more regularly.  I love it when we are able to catch up and I can hear stories from the past.  I always leave and wish I'd brought a recorder so I could have all the history available to listen to again.  I have learned so much from them people God chose for my life and can't imagine life without them.  Sometimes I wish I had tons of money so I could bring all these people together for a week and just spend all that time enjoying them and God's blessings on us.  
14. Harmony Bible Church - the place where I was introduced to Jesus and the place that continues to help me grow that relationship.  I have been a Harmonite all my life and wouldn't have it any other way.  I have watched many changes happen, some were easy, some were not, but I have to say they were all part of helping to grow my faith.  I love being in the church my dad served in, even though not many people remember him anymore, I still know he was a part of making that church what it is and am so glad to be a part of the same ministries with my children.
15. MOPS - Harmony Bible Church MOPS saved me.  I don't know where I would be today with the group of women in my MOPS group.  They have gathered around to support me when I needed it, they have laughed with and at me, they have let me be a part of a group when I felt lost and alone.  I'm thankful daily of for all that MOPS has brought into my life
16. Long time friends - I have a few friends who have been cornerstones in my life.  I don't know where I would be without them.  They are people who didn't think twice, but came when Dad died.  I didn't ask them, they were just there, crying with me and reminding me of all that really mattered.  They were there when I thought I'd never marry and were so happy for me when I met Curtis and cheered the day we married and have been rejoicing with me each time we have brought a baby home.  Sometimes we talk often and sometimes it's ages between conversations, but it never really changes.  The love and support is always there.  If I didn't have them where would I be? 
17. New friends - who new you could make real, true, new friends at this time in life.  I thought I was done with that part of my life, but have been given the gift of new true friends.  It's such a blessing.  There is something about doing life together that bonds people and I am getting the opportunity to do that with some great women.  It has been a blessing to just be a part of a group of women who look at life in a similar way and are respectful about differences.  
18. Southeast Iowa - I love this midwestern home of mine.  I find the countryside lovely and the smells funny.  I like that traffic problems involve tractors and farmers instead of careless people.  I like the ever changing weather.  I like the people who wave regardless of knowing you or not.  I love being close enough to get to the city and enjoy all it's benefits, but not having to deal with one daily.  I like the Hawkeyes and don't hate the Cyclones - I just want us to represent our state well.  I like that the expectation is hard work.  I like that my family has been here for generations and that with every introduction comes a genealogy.  
19. My home, I am not in my dream home, and don't know that I ever will be, but this imperfect home is where Curtis and I started our life together, where we brought our babies home to, and where we are building our family.  It has so many flaws and feels small some days, but it is our home.  I know it is just a building and I would happily survive if we lost it somehow, but I am thankful for this place, our place.  The memories it contains are priceless and those who live and visit here are irreplaceable.  I do wish I had more storage :) but I am making do without it.
20. Efficient washer and dryer - I know it's a thing and the most important things in life aren't things ... but I love being able to start and finish washing and drying clothes in the same day.  With my old washer and dryer I would do laundry all week, it took so long to get it dry, but then a new red set moved into my laundry room and changed the day to day look of my life.  Laundry is still a chore, but I no longer dread it.  Now folding it, that's a different thing entirely, I could fold every day, but washing and drying is so much easier now.
21. My van - 2006 Toyota Sienna.  Like so many things it has seen better days and there are newer and better models out there, but I love my van.  I never thought I would be a van person, but gas mileage and storage won me over.  I feel safe as I drive and ride mostly back and forth to the grocery store, school, and church.  I feel grateful because it's paid for.  I feel thankful because so many would love to be driving my old van and I too often take it for granted.  
22. Peanut Butter - what is better than peanut butter?  I have no more words.
23. Diet Pepsi/Coke (whichever is on sale) - please don't preach to me about the harm and hazards of my vice.  I don't do that to you.  I don't drink coffee, I don't smoke, I try to use very few processed foods, so I drink diet brown soda and I don't feel guilty about it.  
24. Music - I love music.  I learn through music, God speaks to me through music, I pray when I sing, I find the right words to my emotions with the right song.  I love listening to music and singing, usually in my kitchen or my car, not really for anyone else just for me and God.  I love that my family loves music to and we get to enjoy it as a family. 
25. Learning - I may be a dumb nerd, but I love going to classes and leaving having learned something new.  I'm not claiming to be a genius or even particularly smart, I just love learning.  I am not learning big things, but things that matter to me and my life.  I love thinking of things in new ways and sharing those things with people I think would like it to.  I get excited about seminars and conferences, I'm weird, I know it, but I'm okay with it.
26. Loss - there are people you never want to loose, but then you do, it's what happens after that I am thankful for.  I have lost loved ones and I would give anything to get them back even for a moment, but knowing that it isn't possible you have to try to go on.  You are never the same, but you have a choice in your turn on a dime moment, bitter or better.  In loss I have learned things I never would have learned in keeping.  I learned to cherish time and let go of little things.  I learned that God is good even when you don't understand.  I learned that people are little glimpses of God's love and grace and that true healing is only accomplished by God, in his time, and only in heaven.  I learned that if we allow God to strengthen, people are stronger than anyone could imagine - you can't make it on your own and come out better at the other end.  When we try to go it alone, bitter is where we end.  Bitter is a waste of your life and a dishonor to those you lost.  
27. Cooking, baking, frying, broiling, roasting, microwaving - anything with me and a recipe in the kitchen.  I like trying a new twist on an old thing.  Curtis laughs annoyedly because I rarely set a timer, how long will it be he asks, oh when it looks and smells done I answer.   I like it when people like what I have made and eat it all.  I don't ever want to run out or have a hungry person at my table.  I like cooking shows, but I wish there were one that showed the season of life I'm in ... a mom trying to make a meal, representing most of the food groups using unprocessed food, trying to figure out a new recipe with all the interruptions that family life represents and success or failure the family eats together and finds nourishment, laughter, and love around the table in their sometimes messier than she would like home.  What do you think?  Anyone going to pick up that show on the cooking channel?
28. Talk Radio - brain food.  The only regular adult and thoughtful interaction I get in my daily life is Moody Radio.  I love talk radio, maybe that stems from being the daughter of a farmer turned truck driver, but I like to hear ideas and conversations.  I love Rush, Dave Ramsey, and so many of the Moody Radio programs, especially Janet Parschal.  I don't always get to watch the news, but I keep up on the happenings in the world through talk radio.  When I left an adult world and came into my home for a career I was longing for some thoughtful interaction and went back to talk radio, something I'd grown up on, but hadn't found the time for being busy most of the peak talk radio times.  I'm so grateful for the things that teach me, fire me up, confirm or challenge my beliefs, and make me laugh.
29. Cardigan sweaters - I'm a nerd I know.  But I really love a cardigan, in fact I wear one most days.  I have one on now.  I carry them with me in the summer - you never know if you will need it.  I wear one almost daily in the winter.  I feel like they are the perfect part of any outfit.  They are great to cover stains on a shirt and you can dress them up or down.  You can even sleep in them.  They are a staple in my wardrobe.  I sometimes feel like I should try to wear other things, but why, a cardigan is classic, simple, and easy.
30. Words - my grandmother told me I have the gift of gab.  She was right.  I think in words, I relate in words, I express every thing in me in words.  I write, I read, I talk, I sing - take away words and I don't know what I would do.  I love reading and am so glad that God made me a word person.  Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to find the right words to explain something, so I just keep trying until I get it write.  Sometimes I don't find them until after you walk away, but eventually in my mind I can let it go because I found the right words.  I am wounded by words and I understand by words.  I love watching my kids develop their words.  Words are part of my existence and finding myself at a loss for words is rare.  Can't you tell, look at how long this blog is!!!  Geesh, no one will read this, but I'm doing it for me not you.  Thank God for giving me the words to express so many things I'm grateful for and to know that I am only just beginning.  

MOPS India Part 2

Last Friday night was the Missional Mamas Open House.  


Joy prepared the table (thankfully - don't know what I would've done without Joy) and I came before we opened up for the evening.  A bit before 4:00 we had a time of prayer with all the other moms and dedicated the event and evening to God and prayed for all those we represented.  Then the doors open and people began to shop.  What an event - I have loved shopping it in the past, but that night I was having an opportunity to interact with the shoppers and telling them about our scarves, where they came from and what they represented.  I was excited to help them find just the right scarf and have a little girl talk.  It was fun.  


These scarves, I LOVED them.  I had looked at a few before we started selling, but each one I opened was a treasure.  We would take it out of the package, open it up, and there it would be; a hidden treasure just waiting to be discovered.  While looking at it you began to see the texture of the fabric and the pattern hidden beneath the design they dyed upon it.  It would peak through and say "look at me, I'm special, there are things about me that you don't notice at first, but they make me different."  Now this may get a little deep, but the scarves began to represent the woman who made each one.  Some were understated, muted, and then just when you thought it was boring - WHAM a glimmer of something would catch your eye and you would say that's incredible I didn't see that at first, but the more I study it the more I like it.  Some were bright, colorful, and full of life, almost too much and then you would see the pattern of something underneath that reveled a depth you almost missed.  It was a blessing to be able to tell the stories of these blessed women through the scarves that they created.  

Around 6, I said to Joy, we don't have too many left on the table, maybe we should get the rest out.  Thinking that we had only put half of the scarves on the table.  She looked at me and smiled with her eyebrow up and giving me a look of amusement that I have come to know through a life of getting this amused look - this is all of them.  I was shocked I couldn't believe how many scarves we had sold.  I had planned on having some left, to be able to sell them to those who couldn't make it, you know either here on my blog or via Facebook.  By the end of the night we had 5 scarves left.  Yep, 5!!  I couldn't believe it 5!!  I kept saying we only have 5 left, I can't believe it, 5!!  (I wish there was a way to capitalize the number 5 maybe that would convey my excitement a bit more.)  Actually, I think that all 5 have been spoken for now, so we totally sold out.  WE SOLD OUT!!  

On the way home, I was spent, emotionally and physically, but my mind it kept on working.  That day in Kansas City, we KNEW we had to do something and we acted, but in the back of my mind and probably Joy's too, was this little doubt.  What will we do if we don't sell any scarves?  I will have teacher gifts for eternity with 100 scarves, you have the Beekman kid, you'll get a scarf for Christmas.  I could be the Oprah of scarves at MOPS "You get a scarf and you get a scarf and you get a scarf ... You all get a scarf!!!!"  Driving to pick up my kids God started speaking into my head and heart, "It was me you heard at MomCon, you could have ignored me and kept going with your life the same way, but you acted and became my hands to the women represented by the 100 scarves.  It was ME, It was ME!!!"  I realized that it wasn't just me and Joy doing a good thing, but it was God working through us to do a God thing.  I know that I didn't save a life or change the world, or even make a huge donation, but I let God work through me to do HIS thing.  That was, really, the best thing I could have done, let God have this little thing to show me a big thing.  

The big thing is still being worked out, this is where I am today.  Not much would have changed if I would have never ventured behind the curtain at MomCon.  I would not have learned about these women or their families.  I would have finished the conference and wondered if I would ever find myself in the position to take a risk and do something.  But I did and God spoke and what I have learned is if you are willing, He will be there in it.  I learned if you will do something, just because you think that God might be putting it in your path on purpose, He will see it through no matter what it looks like at the end.  If you share what you have and are continuing to learn, people will respond and react and those actions are the hand of God.  

I don't know much, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that last Friday night my sister and I were part of a mighty work of God.  He took our small step and said I know you did this for me and so you girls are going to sell out, just to prove that I can use small things to make big change.  

I was able to contact our connection to India on Friday and she sent me some beautiful pictures of the MOPS India ladies.  What a gift to look into their faces and know that we have been a small part of their journey a world away.  I don't think that my journey with these moms is complete, but even if it is, I will always treasure the opportunity I had to sell their scarves and be a small part of their story.  Most importantly I have been able to hear God speak, then act on it, and then to be a part of something miraculous - we sold all our scarves.  We did something and God used it for good in my life, and in the lives of all involved.  Thanks to all of you who allowed this story to impact your life.  Thanks for praying with us and for buying a scarf.  Can't wait to see what God will do next.  

MOPS India

In October I and a group of 12 Harmony MOPS moms went to the MOPS convention aka MomCon for those who haven't been in MOPS for as long as I.  It was an incredible weekend.  Seriously, inspiring, convicting, encouraging, practical, exhausting ... I loved it.  I was able to go with some family, great friends, and some girls who have become great friends.  Being with Joy and Aunt Candy and the other ladies I'm not biologically connected to for 3 days and learning next to them was really a gift and a blessing.

As our weekend was nearing an end Joy and I were finishing up our shopping - they had an amazing resource area full of great stuff - we were in the MOPS area buying pens and other supplies for our group.  While waiting in line and browsing we saw a display of scarves and being Kelly girls were drawn in by the beautiful colors and patterns and the unique qualities each of these scarves had.  No two were alike.  We were looking them over and chatting about them when a lady dressed in a bright red sari came up behind us filming the display on her phone.  She asked if we liked the scarves and we both said yes and seeing the filming going on asked her to tell us about them.  She then said that moms from the new groups of Indian (like India the country - think Slumdog Millionaire) MOPS were making the scarves and she had brought enough scarves to sell so that they would be able to fund a website that would market MOPS India and sell their creations to help support the women in the group and the families they represented.  Wow!  This was the only thing like that in the MOPSshop.    She asked if we would like to take what she had left and sell them and send her the money later.  Wow! again.  We both said we'd love to help, but how would that work.  This is the when the American mentor to this beautiful Indian woman stepped in saying, she thinks that all American's are trustworthy and helpful and would never take advantage - but even though I'm sure you two are very nice, we know that isn't true, can you come back here and we will talk about it a bit more and I'll explain what is going on and help you figure out if you can help or not.  Smart lady.

Now I must add, we wandered in to shop after having just heard Jen Hatmaker talk about doing not just talking about the love of Christ.  Getting involved and getting your hands dirty to help people around the world.  Stop living in your safe bubble and raising your children to be safe and happy and start raising brave disciples of Jesus Christ.  Brave moms have brave kids.  Wow!  Do something, do something, do something.

So to say I was convicted and inspired and trying to digest all that at the very moment we stepped behind the curtain would be an understatement.  I want my kids to be brave and I want to be used by Jesus to help people, I just didn't know how.  I walked into that room not knowing how to help anyone, everyone I know is like me.  Raising safe and happy kids and worrying that I haven't given them enough discipline, opportunities ... you know all that rich in the world, but poor in the work stuff Americans drown in.

Behind the curtain of the MOPSshop i learned of a group of women, so poor and broken in spirit they are without hope and trapped in their situations.  They are in a culture where they are not valued, in fact daughters are a burden.  A baby girl represents half your earnings to be used in a dowry to pay someone to marry her, so a daughter is met with grief and fear for many families.  A son is celebrated and seen as a gift.  This is what is leading to so much sex trafficking and infanticide in India.  The thought of that broke my heart.  I thought of my own daughter and the joy she has been bringing us since the day she was born and my heart was sad that not every little girl is welcomed into her family.    We should all be welcomed, cherished, valued.  This view of girls seems to grow with them and their is very little value of a woman in the culture, she is valued by bringing a dowry, sons, and work into a home, but as a person has little worth.  Enter the woman in the beautiful red sari.

She is very respected and valued in her family and community and as you can probably guess she is not poor but she has a burden for the poor women living around her.  She must have heard Jen Hatmakers message before I did, because she decided to do something.  She met with a group of 80 women, much like her, who wanted change in India and they decided to start MOPS groups in their homes.  In the last six months 80 MOPS groups has grown into 6,000.  Each time a group outgrew the home they met in, about 15 moms, they started a new group.  That is 75,000 women who for the first time are being poured into instead of being taken from.  75,000 women who are finding their value to Jesus.  75,000 moms who are changing their view of themselves and changing their families.  75,000 women who want to do more than meet as a MOPS group, they want to work together to make change in their community and home.  What would you do if you were one of these women?  I'm not sure what I would do, but these women have begun to make scarves.

They are selling these scarves to start a website to market their scarves and maybe other items to sell to support their families and change their family, community, and hopefully culture.  More money means less girls in the sex trade and fewer girls falling victim to infanticide.  Maybe you can guess what happened next ... Joy and I looked at each other and said we are in - we want to help, but first we have a couple calls to make.

We had to see if we could sell the scarves at an open house that a group in our area has each year.  The Missional Mamas are a group of moms who wanted to do something and so they find a variety of goods to sell and send the money raised to support all the different groups who are creating the products.  There is jewelry, tshirts, scarves, clothing, bags, hair accessories ... the list is long, but the causes are great.  Sex trafficking, poverty, dirty water, abused and neglected women and children,  ... there is a world of problems out there, but this group of ladies found a way to do something.  They gladly welcomed our scarves into the mix and encouraged our desire to help.  The next call was a little harder to make, the hubbies.  We needed to put some money in to make it happen, that always requires a bit of discussion since neither of us have unlimited spending.  After Joy and I individually cried on the phones while telling Grant and Curtis the story of the Indian scarves and the women and girls behind them, they both said you need to do it and were willing to back it up with their wallets.  Wow!  We wrote a check and walked out with 100 scarves, feeling a bit crazy, but really excited to be able to get involved.

So here is where you come in, we need to sell these scarves to send the money to the MOPS India group.  We are doing something small, but it is what we can do.  Who knows what God will do with this step, we could sell no scarves or we could sell out.  I just knew that listening to the story, which I've only scratched the surface of sharing here, and looking at Joy we had to do something, and we did.  Do you want to buy a scarf?